It’s finally here. Our 680-page, three-pound humor anthology, KEEP SCROLLING TILL YOU FEEL SOMETHING: TWENTY-ONE YEARS OF HUMOR FROM McSWEENEY’S INTERNET TENDENCY is now available to order.

Touch Me:
A Column About Massage

Christy Vannoy has been massaging people for far longer than she originally planned. Sometimes, while her client sleeps, she composes little stories in her mind. They are about massage, and yet they are not. She swears this is the year she will finally write them down. She says that every year. This year she means it. She meant it last year, too