McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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All posts tagged
accidents
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October 10, 2014The Stand-In Cannon Player for Last Week’s Performance of Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” Apologizes
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December 11, 2013While I Was Looking Down
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July 23, 2012The Man Who Tripped and Fell in His Living Room One Afternoon and Died
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December 5, 2011I’m Sorry That My Robot Car Ran Over Your Robot Cat
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August 26, 2011An Open Letter to My Italian Slacks That Ripped at the Seam Just Prior to Deposition
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July 5, 2011I Am Really Really Sorry for Messing Up Your Brain Surgery So Bad
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April 1, 2011An Open Letter to the Guy Who Scheduled My Accidental Brazilian
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December 15, 2009A Pragmatic Romantic Says Farewell To His Lover
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May 7, 2009It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets Their Head Stuck in a 3,600-Year-Old Sumerian Pot
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August 29, 2008Secret Service Emergency-Response Protocol 1127B: If the President Falls Down a Well
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 15, 2024Is It Perimenopause or the Fascist Death Knell of Late-Stage Capitalism?
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
Recently
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner
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October 31, 2024How to Burn Off Halloween Candy Calories: 2024 Election Edition
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October 31, 2024270 Reasons: Because If You Don’t Want to Live in The Handmaid’s Tale, You Really Need to Vote Harris-Walz
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October 31, 2024I’m Voting for Trump Because of the Things He Says He’ll Do, Which I Don’t Actually Believe He’ll Do