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All posts tagged
centrists
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June 7, 2021Just Because I’m a Democrat Doesn’t Mean I Believe in Something Crazy Like Guaranteeing Everyone the Right to Vote
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May 12, 2021I’m Skipping the Second Dose of the COVID Vaccine Because I’m an Insufferable Centrist
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April 15, 2021As a Centrist Democrat, I Ran on a Promise to Fix Killer Shower Clowns. But Now That I’m in Office, I Believe We Should Consider the Issue More Cautiously
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February 28, 2020Mike Bloomberg Can Win This Election!
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February 5, 2020I’ll Have to Vote For Trump Because the Democrats Are Too Liberal and Also Because I’m Possessed By the Demon Abaddon and His Army of Locusts
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January 28, 2020Democrats Must Appeal to the Tiny Margin of People Who Voted for Trump and Might Be Open to Supporting a Moderate Democrat in 2020
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November 19, 2019I’m Pete Buttigieg, and After a Lot of Soul-Searching, I’ve Realized That I Am a Young Joe Biden
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November 12, 2019Liberals Must Stop Condemning My Moral Cowardice and General Ineptitude
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October 22, 2019Progressives Need to Reconsider Their Approach If They Want Their Concerns to Be Dismissed Seriously
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August 9, 2019We Need a Wizard Who Can Appeal to the Moderate Orc Voter
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 7, 2021A Short Quiz for My Students in Lieu of Asking About Their Vaccine Status or Requesting That They Wear Masks
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October 9, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 8, 2021Wake Up, Sailors, Scurvy Is a Hoax
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