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All posts tagged
girlfriends
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March 2, 2007A Memo To My New Boyfriend Re: Clarification Of Offer Pursuant To Securities And Exchange Commission Regulations And Also My Trouble With Monogamy
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February 21, 2007The Modern Girl’s Guide to Curing…
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February 14, 2007Two Previously Known and 15 Brand New Closing Signatures, To Be Inserted At the End of Your Love Letters For Valentine’s or Any Other Day
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October 24, 2006Dan Liebert, Verbal Cartoonist: Respecting My Boundaries
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May 11, 2006Habits That Are Harder to Break Than Peter Cetera’s Ex-Girlfriend
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January 6, 2006Things My Girlfriend Did Not Say After I Told Her That I Sometimes Feel Stuck
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June 1, 2005How to Tell If Your Vegetarian Girlfriend Has Been Sneaking Meat
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May 2, 2005Understanding the Seattle SuperSonics by Comparing Them to Girls You May Have Dated in College
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June 22, 2004An Open Letter to My Deep Fear That My Girlfriend Will Be Really Fat Later in Life
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January 21, 2003The Track Listing on a CD Titled Songs That Remind Me of Katie Burned By My 15-Year-Old Brother (Where Katie is His Girlfriend)
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April 30, 2020The Girl From Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” Responds 18 Years Later
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June 26, 2020A Message from Your University’s Vice President for Magical Thinking
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June 24, 2020Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-759
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June 22, 2020I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You
Recently
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July 3, 2020The Fourth of July: Myth vs. Fact
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July 3, 2020We Apologize That Instead of July Fourth Bunting, We Accidentally Shipped You a Box Full of Snakes
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July 3, 2020
Of Plague and Plenty -
July 3, 2020It’s Time to Sign the Declaration of Independence, and I, Elbridge Gerry, Will Have the Biggest Signature of All