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All posts tagged
jerks
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December 17, 2020An Open Letter to the Paperboys in Newsies Who Nicknamed Their Friend “Crutchie”
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December 14, 2020You Can’t Call Yourself a Woman Until a Man Has Written a Wall Street Journal Op-Ed on Why You Don’t Deserve the Title You’ve Earned
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June 22, 2020I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You
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June 22, 2018A Person With Down Syndrome or Corey Lewandowski?
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March 1, 2018My Entire Personality is Based On a Bunch of Stock Images for “Travel Writer,” and I Will Have a Mental Breakdown If You Don’t Tell Me I’m Special
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January 25, 2018Quiz: Janet’s Father Has Died. Can You Make This About You?
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November 14, 2017An Open Letter to the Person on the Internet Who Likes Fighting With Me
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November 6, 2017I’m Asking for Privacy While I Seek Treatment for Being a Piece of Human Garbage
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August 31, 2017I’m Tanking Our Relationship for a Better Draft Pick Next Season
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August 30, 2017Joel Osteen and the Ark
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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February 16, 2021As a Superhero Teacher, I Can’t Wait to Sacrifice My Unvaccinated Life for Your Child
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February 22, 2021The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
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February 10, 2021An Update from Your Three-Year-Old’s Montessori Educator, Translated for Parents Who Endured a Traditional Public School Education
Recently
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit
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February 25, 2021Famous Philosophers in Quarantine
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February 25, 2021A Grizzled, Months-Old Chrome Tab Welcomes a Fresh-Faced New Tab to My Browser Window
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February 24, 2021I Oppose the Democrats’ Plan to Lower Child Poverty. If Kids Want to Eat, They Should Work In Filthy Factories Like They Did in the Good Old Days