Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
All posts tagged
opening-lines
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January 21, 2015List: Opposite Opening Lines to Famous Novels
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June 15, 2011List: Famous Opening Lines from Novels Updated for the Modern Age
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March 18, 2010List: Opening Lines from an Ill-Humored Comedian of the 18th Century
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February 8, 2007List: Opening Sentences to A Tale of Two Cities Rejected by Dickens Before He Settled on “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …”
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January 14, 2005List: Actual Opening Lines Used on Me by Business-to-Business Telemarketers
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June 6, 2004Five Rejected Opening Lines for the CBS Evening News in New York
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 5, 2019I Support Strong Women of Color Unless They Are Politically to My Left
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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April 11, 2017Anything Men Can Do I Can Do Bleeding