Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
NEW BOOK ALERT
It’s finally here. Our 680-page, three-pound humor anthology, KEEP SCROLLING TILL YOU FEEL SOMETHING: TWENTY-ONE YEARS OF HUMOR FROM McSWEENEY’S INTERNET TENDENCY is now available to order.
All posts tagged
opening-lines
-
September 5, 2019List: Famous Opening Lines Rewritten for Back-to-School Time
-
June 13, 2019List: Famous Opening Lines: On Fleek
-
January 21, 2015List: Opposite Opening Lines to Famous Novels
-
June 15, 2011List: Famous Opening Lines from Novels Updated for the Modern Age
-
March 18, 2010List: Opening Lines from an Ill-Humored Comedian of the 18th Century
-
February 8, 2007List: Opening Sentences to A Tale of Two Cities Rejected by Dickens Before He Settled on “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …”
-
January 14, 2005List: Actual Opening Lines Used on Me by Business-to-Business Telemarketers
-
June 6, 2004Five Rejected Opening Lines for the CBS Evening News in New York
Trending 🔥
-
November 5, 2019If You Call Me a “Boomer” You Are Committing a Hate Crime
-
November 6, 2019My 11-Month-Old Baby’s HR Discrimination Complaint
-
October 29, 2019We’re the Husbands from Every Haunted House Movie, and We Think You’re Just Not Giving Our New Home a Chance
-
November 8, 2019From One Parent to Another: Thank You, T.I.
Recently
-
November 11, 2019Things In Your University Office You Can Burn for Warmth
-
November 11, 2019List: Jokes That Everyone On The Mayflower Are Getting Sick Of
-
November 11, 2019Your Services As Guidance Counselor Are No Longer Required, Mr. Vonnegut
-
November 8, 2019List: The Ten Commandments of Workism