The Believer Magazine
All posts tagged
speeches
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October 23, 2024A Stump Speech by a Mayoral Candidate Who Just Learned the Werewolves Terrorizing the Town Might Endorse Him
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May 22, 2024How to Craft a Eulogy When All You Want to Do Is Crawl in a Hole
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May 1, 2024How to Do Really Really Well at Show-and-Tell
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April 16, 2024How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They’ll Want to Remain Your Friend
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March 29, 2024How to Concede an Election While Making It Clear That Your Ideas Are Objectively Better
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March 8, 2024How to Accept an Award Without Making Your Voters Regret It
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February 26, 2024How to Give a Wedding Toast Without Annoying Hundreds of Hungry Guests
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February 7, 2024How to Give a Toast to a Departing Coworker
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October 31, 2022If Elected, I Promise to Murder You
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October 8, 2020An Oral History of Donald Trump’s Famous “Everyone Wanted the Belt” Speech
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 13, 2025It’s a Shame We Have to Betray Our Allies, Starve the Poor, Halt Scientific Progress, Destroy the Environment, and Eliminate the Freedoms Enshrined in the Bill of Rights, but at Least My Investment Portfolio Is Also Tanking
Recently
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March 27, 2025We Are the People Who Buy Red Delicious Apples
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March 27, 2025A Letter from Believer Editor Daniel Gumbiner
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March 27, 2025Scenes from the First Major League Baseball Game Featuring the New Robot Umpire, HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey
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March 26, 2025Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel