Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
All posts tagged
speeches
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February 22, 2019Sophocles’ Acceptance Speech for Best Original Tragedy
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September 14, 2018Best Man’s Speech For Brett’s Second Wedding
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March 18, 2016Monologue: A Youth Soccer Player’s Participation Award Acceptance Speech
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February 26, 2016Monologue: An All-Purpose Oscar Acceptance Speech
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February 25, 2016A Candidate of All Faiths
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January 12, 2016List: State of The Union Talking Points That Were Cut for Time
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December 18, 2015Monologue: Annie Gives a Corporate Motivational Speech
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November 5, 2014Monologue: Peter Pan’s Middle School Assembly D.A.R.E. Speech
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January 20, 2014A Tough Act to Follow: Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” Speech
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August 2, 2012My Thank You Speech for Poetry Class
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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March 18, 2019March Sadness
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March 19, 2019List: Impossible reCAPTCHAs
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March 22, 2019To Make It As an Artist, I Recommend Having Unlimited Time and Money
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March 22, 2019List: What Guests Said At the Patriarchy’s Funeral
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March 22, 2019
Phoenix, a New Mini-Book by Dave Eggers About His Visit to an Arizona Trump Rally, at Which Dozens of Citizens Freely Carried AR-15s, Hundreds (Including the Author) Were Teargassed, and Miraculously No One Was Killed or Wounded -
March 22, 2019Excerpts From Gabriel García Márquez’s Love In the Time of Covfefe