ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Our Latest Post
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You Think Pickleball is Bad? Try Living Next to an Eighteenth-Century Warship
“This warship fad affects the whole neighborhood, not just the sailors selling their souls to Davy Jones’s locker. For starters, there’s the noise. If you thought a pathetic little wiffle ball was bothersome, might I introduce you to Saturday morning cannonfire?” -
Lists
Phrases for Hiring Committees to Use Instead of “We’re a Family”
“We’re like a group of high school friends who went out one night and accidentally killed someone, and then hid the body because they were scared of the consequences, and now we’re forever connected by the shared guilt, fear, and shame.” -
Famous Works of Irish Literature as Limericks
A lass who keeps raising her dress
Is awash with erotic distress.
‘Spite her wandering womb,
Should she keep Leo Bloom?
Why yes, she says, yes she will, yes. -
Dashiell Hammett’s Saint Patrick and the Case of the Emerald Asp
“It was a gloomy morning, fifth century, and I was nursing a hangover that felt like I’d been worked over by a shillelagh with something to prove. I was just about to take a shot of holy water—hair of the God that blessed me—when he walked in.” -
Norse History for Bostonians
Going Berzerk for Bostonians
“Truth be told, it’s a pretty good thing we don’t actually have any real behrsehrkahs left anymohr, even if we do got way too many violent fuckin’ psychos out there since idiocy is a huge, fuckin’ integral paht of the human race.”
Trending
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March 6, 2024Gen Z Beowulf
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March 7, 2024She Lives in New York and Los Angeles
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March 7, 2024The Supreme Court Decides This Year’s Best Picture Winner
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March 14, 2024Boeing Announces New Safety Policy: “Fuck It, We Ball”
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March 8, 2024Wilderness Survival Tips for Women in Male-Dominated Fields
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March 14, 2024MTA New York City Subway BINGO
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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March 18, 2024Family Tours in the Kingdom of the Sick: Into the Tunnel of Uncertainty
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March 15, 2024Letters to Moms: A Letter to Marmee March
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March 13, 2024Chronicles of a Catsitter: Up Harlem Hill
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March 12, 2024An Excerpt from Pierre La Police’s Classic Comic Masters of the Nefarious
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March 11, 2024Sorry Not Sorry: Three Comedians, Three “Apologies”
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March 8, 2024How to Accept an Award Without Making Your Voters Regret It
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March 6, 2024Been There, Smelled That: The City That Bottles Roses and Rain
Over in the Store
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Winner of the John Newbery Medal. "Here is a book that is truly for all ages, as only the best stories are."
—Isaac Fitzgerald, The Today Show (author's pick) -
“This book is a magic trick. The kind of magic trick where you want to know how to do it so you can also write a book this good.”
—Caldecott Medal winner Jon Klassen -
“A key barometer of the literary climate.” —The New York Times
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“No book I have read in years has moved me so deeply; no book has felt so full of life.”
—Garth Greenwell
Recent Posts
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March 14, 2024MTA New York City Subway BINGO
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March 14, 2024Boeing Announces New Safety Policy: “Fuck It, We Ball”
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March 13, 2024The Meek Who Shall Inherit the Earth Lodge a Complaint
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March 13, 2024What I Think It’s Like Working at a Company That Makes Condoms
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March 12, 2024I Guess I Will Just Keep Standing Here While You Fix the Sink
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