TODAY’S
FEATURE
Fancy Jeans are the Future of This Companyby Pete Reynolds
RECENTLY
Classes from Princeton’s 2013-2014 Course Catalogby Jess Chace
A McSweeney’s Issue 43 Sneak Peek
by McSweeney's
A Q&A with Zubair Ahmed, author of City of Rivers
by McSweeney's Books
Please, For the Love Of God, Stop Doing My Exercise Program
by Bob Powers
Let Us Customize Your Extended Jingle
by Erik Cofer
Dan Chelotti’s Haiku-a-Day
by Dan Chelotti
The Comma From Which My Heart Hangs
by Benjamin Samuel
ALSO NEW
Position Papers from the Apple Pie and Machine Guns Institute: Position Paper #11: The Endangered Species Elimination Actby Stuart Winchester
Reviews of New Food
by Various New Food Tasters
POPULAR
I Would Like to Be Popeby John Ortved
Monologue: I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.
by Mike Lacher
Nate Silver Offers Up a Statistical Analysis of Your Failing Relationship
by Jory John
The Only Thing That Can Stop This Asteroid is Your Liberal Arts Degree
by Mike Lacher
It’s Not You, It’s Quantitative Cost-Benefit Analysis
by Josh Freedman
COLUMNS
Position Papers from the Apple Pie and Machine Guns InstituteReviews of New Food
Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs
Lists
Getting a Head: Touring the World as a Giant Dancing Bear
Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
Are You Telling Me That This Sucker’s Nuclear? Adventures in Atomic Tourism
Ben Greenman’s Graphs About Charts and Charts About Graphs
Short Imagined Monologues
God’s Little Acre of Diamonds: Observations On Travel Ball in Cobb County, Georgia
Teddy Wayne’s Unpopular Proverbs
Tractors Drive Themselves: One Man’s Return to the Farm
Sarah Walker Shows You How
The 49ers: Oral Histories of Americans Facing 50
ALL COLUMNS