TODAY’S
FEATURE
Diary Of My Failed Antarctic Expedition
by Tom O'Donnell
RECENTLY
Dinner Party Timeoutby S.H. Carlyle
What It’s Like Being President, Metaphorically Speaking
by Marco Kaye
Lord Grantham’s Neighbors
by Tom Gliatto
Jeremy Lin Has Helped Me Through Some Pretty Tough Times
by Jesse Eisenberg
Dater’s Index
by Emily McDowell
The McSweeney’s Books Preview of Adam Levin’s Hot Pink.
by Adam Levin
“Big” Hank Bricklaw: Art Coach
by Oyl Miller
ALSO NEW
Dendrophilia and Other Social Taboos: Pasty Little Inner Muttby Dani Burlison
Monologue: An Abstinence Coach Struggles with Analogy
by Ross Murray
POPULAR
In Which I Fix My Girlfriend’s Grandparents’ WiFi and Am Hailed as a Conquering Heroby Mike Lacher
On the Implausibility of the Death Star’s Trash Compactor
by Joshua Tyree
Monologue: I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.
by Mike Lacher
Jeremy Lin Has Helped Me Through Some Pretty Tough Times
by Jesse Eisenberg
List: Sexting Ice Breakers for English Grad Students
by Hollie Adams
COLUMNS
Dendrophilia and Other Social Taboos
Short Imagined Monologues
Assimilate Or Go Home: Dispatches from the Stateless Wanderers
Ben Greenman’s Graphs About Charts and Charts About Graphs
Dispatches From a Guy Trying Unsuccessfully to Sell a Song in Nashville
Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
The Long Walk: A Column About Washington
Lists
McSweeney’s Recommends
American Policy Suggestions from a Chicago Sports Fan
Wholphin Previews
Gyros to Heroes: A Column About Sandwiches
Teddy Wayne’s Unpopular Proverbs
Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs
ALL COLUMNS
denotes newish content, indicates a recent update.