I’m a dynamic student looking to express my creativity and individual uniqueness through a remedial summertime position at your company / Internet pyramid scheme. I’m committed to raising the bar and achieving absolute excellence and innovation by utilizing unique, out-of-the-box thinking and harnessing my own dynamic synergy. Moreover, by channeling my productive energies and maintaining unflagging dedication and diligence 24/7, I come second to none in providing visionary business solutions for our modern world. We all know a penny saved is a penny earned, but what’s an opportunity lost? If you help me help you by allowing me to join you and your positive-thinking, inventive, and kinetic work force, you’ll never have to find out—instead, you’ll win the professionally strategized solutions I provide within a harmoniously prioritized environmental framework!
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.
December 1, 2008
As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.