A sober introduction of a current event, followed by a sane point about its troubling complexities. A few sentences about absurdly powerful people who fail to acknowledge the author’s sane point. Some labored descriptions of the disastrous consequences of failing to acknowledge the author’s sane point.
A surprising explanation of why people fail to acknowledge author’s sane point. Some links to stuff. A litany of relevant empirical data that seems accurate, but is probably just some shit the author looked up on Wikipedia.
[AD OF COOL THING YOU SEARCHED FOR ON AMAZON TEN MINUTES AGO THAT YOU FIGHT THE URGE TO CLICK ON AND CHECK OUT AGAIN.]
Two or three lines about the importance of learning from the past. A vaguely relevant history lesson that includes forgettable dates, foreign-sounding names, and places. Expression of genuine concern that nothing will happen and innocent people will be harmed—perhaps even all of humanity.
An inspiring conclusion urging readers to take action.
Outrageously mean statement offensive to well-meaning person.
— A fifteen-year-old
Even more outrageously mean and offensive response.
— A bonafide adult
Surprisingly witty response from a fifteen-year-old that probably made you laugh even though you shouldn’t.
— A fifteen-year-old
👍 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍
— A mom
Sanctimonious comment about how the Internet is full of terrible comments by apparently depraved, superficial, narcissistic individuals.
— A thirteen-year-old
Enthusiastic agreement of a grown-ass person who has calmed down a little.
— The same bonafide adult
Inexplicably shitty comment accusing well-meaning person of using English language in politically incorrect way. Contains egregious grammar and/or spelling error.
— A college student
Reasonable comment pointing out that well-meaning person makes a good point.
— Well-meaning author of thoughtful article
Grossly cynical comment crapping all over well-meaning person’s inspirational conclusion.
— Unemployed male in suburban basement
Actually very funny GIF or meme pic bearing no apparent relation to article.
— Absurdly powerful person
Deeply informed comment pointing out that author’s Wikipedia data is flawed. Link to academic paper proving it. Academic paper is behind paywall.
— Adjunct lecturer on academic job market for fourth year in a row
Comment pointing out that we are all going to die anyway.
— A nine-year-old