Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
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An Open Letter to Everyone Who, When Approaching the Door to the Office Suite Where I Am the Receptionist, Turns the Handle Down, Then Pushes the Door In, Thereby Causing a Loud Obnoxious Banging Sound, Looks Up at Me With Frustration in Their Eyes.
BY KURT CHIANG
To you people,
PULL the door open. Turn the handle any old way you want. But then PULL. Don’t push. Stop pushing the door. Pull. Pull it. The door will open if you pull it. I can’t stand that banging sound. No, it’s not locked. It’s unlocked. I unlocked it. Yes, I see you there. And I unlocked it. It works. The battery is not dead. I checked. I’m not playing a trick on you. Stop looking at me like that. And stop ringing the doorbell. Just pull. Pull the door.
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