Check the diagnostic symptoms below that apply. These criteria represent a widening of the definition from the previous diagnostic standard.

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You know when to give someone a bit of space, and when to give them a storage locker.

When asked to bring a side at Thanksgiving, you show up with a gentle yet firm demeanor people have never seen before.

When dreams are thwarted, you are able to see the big picture: giant corned beef sandwiches the size of a sedan.

You bring people together, by telling them elaborate stories about how this is a job interview.

When people need a pickup, you’re there to give them a pep talk, and there later that night to whisper the refrain over and over as the person tries desperately to get some sleep.

You offer nondenominational prayers during times of grief, except for atheists, to whom you gently whisper, “We all die alone.”

You take the time to explain technology to older generations. “Basically,” you say holding up an iPhone, “the robot overlords are going to kill anyone who doesn’t speak their language come 2020.”

You save the dolphins. From themselves.

You see those who are invisible to society. All it takes is a bit of UV paint and some black lights.

When someone is locked out of their house, you’ll always lend a hand—even smash a window if you have to. It’s worth it for the stereo you get as a thank you.

You give blood, but when it becomes apparent that the technician isn’t offering any of his in return, you screech, “Mine!” and run out of the room with your bag, later to scamper back and hand it over, because you’ve got one spare.

You choose stylish yet casual restaurants so that your poor friends can enjoy artisanal pickles and Tecate alongside your rich friends’ truffle steak and Pouilly-Fumé.

You make jazz listening easy.

You have healing hands, except when you’re in the middle of making your signature sour lemon spike sticks.

You’re an excellent listener. After prompting a friend to get something off their chest, you’ll allow the silence to speak for a moment, before murmuring, “Did you hear that squirrel? I think it was an eastern grey” so as not to disturb the squirrel.

When suing in small claims court, you make stirring but feasible speeches while waving the world’s tiniest constitution in the air.

You own The Very Best of Chris De Burgh: 14 Classic Tracks.

You have three smiles: A courtesy smile that involves the mouth but not the eyes, a genuine beam that lights up people’s souls, and a confounding smile that involves the eyes but not the mouth, used for Congressional campaigning.

If the world ends tomorrow, good thing you ate all the cream puffs.

When someone wants you to play a melody that they’re not really sure how it goes, you’re all, “Oh yeah, you probably mean this Foreigner song…”

You once almost choked to death on orange-mango juice, but someone saved you, and what is dead may never die.

You dabble in requiems, but you’re not a dick about it.

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If you exhibit 1-7 of the above symptoms, you are at a low risk of greatness.

If you exhibit 8-14 of the above symptoms, you are at a moderate risk of greatness and should consider seeking assistance.

If you exhibit 15-22 of the above symptoms, you are at a high risk of greatness and should seek assistance.

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Update: The manual has been subsequently updated such that only six symptoms are required to diagnose cases that fall along the greatness spectrum.