The Lee Test

Does it show women with huge bazooms, one, who prance around in skin-tight costumes, two, yet somehow the creator, three, still gets credit for empowering women?

The Schultz Test

Does it have a dog, one, who has a bird sidekick that participates in his World War I fantasies, two, while, three, his owner is unaware of the complicated mental processes said dog is capable of because of his own obsessions with psychiatry, football and grief?

The Breathed Test

Does it have a penguin, one, who suffers from internal anxiety about his inability to fly but also comments drily on the antics of a disturbingly unhinged cat, two, both of whom have, three, somehow crossed over to become beloved children’s book characters even though the source material references the Republican agenda in some fairly uncomplimentary ways?

The Keane Test

Does it focus on a bunch of suspiciously round children, one, who engage in unrealistic antics and malapropisms, two, that, three, only your grand-pop finds funny?

The Trudeau Test

Does it feature a beloved and socially diverse group of people, one, who exist in a world that might somehow be more complex than the social obligations of many of the readers of the strip, which was, two, created by a man who used to be considered slightly less well-known than his very famous wife, and whose name, three, inevitably makes you feel guilty for not listening to NPR more often?

The Watterson Test

Does it portray a young boy, one, who along with his stuffed tiger, two, seems to be having, three, much more fun than you’ve ever had in your life?

The Groenig Test

Does it show a family who, one, still appear weekly on your television, two, which still causes you to sit down to watch it and chortle, three, despite your avowals at work the next day that the show’s not as funny as it used to be?

The Larson Test

Does it often feature a woman with a beehive, one, who gets herself into some sort of strange crisis, two, involving a cow, three, which is amusing but also somehow unnervingly linked to your own mortality?

The Davis Test

Does it include a fat cat, one, who engages in the same banter, two, with his owner, three, over and over again and over again, so much so that you feel nostalgic for “Cathy”?

The Disney Test

Does it show, one, a young woman, who, two, is minor royalty as well as possessing a serious set of pipes and a tiny waist, and, three, doesn’t eat a thing that’s not poisoned or enchanted for the entire length of the film?