We never have to worry about the front door being ajar; you’ve perfected a strong, powerful skill of ensuring that it is robustly secured.

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Before you moved in, I had no idea that near-empty soap dispensers could simply be filled with water to extend their shelf life.

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Still eating Ramen noodles for every meal is a radical dietary and lifestyle choice, we love the melting pot you’ve allowed our house to become.

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I didn’t intend for the package of dryer sheets to be for everyone, but your laundry is important and I’m sure you’d leap at the chance to repay the favor.

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The “house gift” of the little Buddha statue is lovely, but is best served to be displayed out of general sight.

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You’ve greatly reduced our footprint by opting not to replenish our stock of paper towels and toilet tissue.

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4:30 am on a Wednesday is a poor time to record your acoustic guitar version of “Hotline Bling” for Youtube, but you have an impeccable ear for melody.

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I’m glad you showed me the video about how the Denver Airport is the secret headquarters of reptilian-humanoids.

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Your dental health is important to me, and you’ve been courteous enough to return my toothpaste to roughly the same position in which I leave it.

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The open exchange of ideas is essential to an organic new friendship and cohabitation; “I love that he’s not a politician” has broadened our worldview in terms of the upcoming election.