(Please: All Concise Interviews with Notable People are real and unembellished, and should not be considered satirical or fabricated. To think so would be wrong.)

- - -

The following interview was conducted by Andy Wang, a former Microsoft employee (and now a teacher of journalism at the University of Missouri), at a dinner hosted by Mr. Gates at his lakeside home, in the summer of 1996.

AW: What do you think about mandatory ratings on computer games? Bill Gates: They’re saying the games are too violent. I think our games aren’t violent enough. I mean, screw it.

- - -

This next interview was conducted by Eric Celeste, a writer living in Dallas, with Robert Hughes, esteemed cultural critic, formerly of Australia. In 1995, Mr. Celeste was writing about people’s reading habits for American Way Magazine, and, on a lark, called Mr. Hughes for a comment. Mr. Celeste was surprised when Mr. Hughes called back.

Robert Hughes: This is Robert Hughes.
EC: Oh! Thank you so much for calling back. I won’t take up too much of your time, uh, Robert, but I’m working on a story. . .
RH: That’s MISTER Hughes to you.

- - -

Larry Smith interviewed Elmore Leonard, a novelist, last year for a profile he was doing for P.O.V. magazine, at which he is a senior editor. He called Mr. Leonard at home.

LS: Hi, Mr. Leonard, thanks for taking a minute —
Elmore Leonard: Fuck you, you’re an hour late. [Hangs up.]

- - -

Finally, the following interview with Robert Plant, a singer, was conducted last summer by Katy Papagianis at a bookstore in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

KP: Can I help you?
Robert Plant: Yes. Do you have this is in a large print edition?
Katy P: Would you mind a used copy?
Robert Plant: No, not at all.
Robert Plant: I love this bookstore. This must be a great job. I would love to do this.
KP: Yeah.