Tickel & Lichner v. Bathtime Buddies Inc.
Case No. 884158429
U.S. District Court of New York
If you purchased a Deluxe Bathtime Bubble Bunny and suffered injuries as a result of your penis having been lodged inside the toy, you may be entitled to proceeds from a proposed multi-million dollar class action lawsuit.
Who are we?
We are professional attorneys with Tickel & Lichner, a 60-member law firm with offices in New York, Los Angeles and Singapore, with a combined 780 years of legal experience. Many of us are also victims of penis injuries suffered after accidental insertion into the ventral orifice of the Deluxe Bathtime Bubble Bunny. We are litigating this case pro bono.
What is the Deluxe Bathtime Bubble Bunny?
Not to be confused with its predecessor, the Bathtime Bubble Bee, the Deluxe Bathtime Bubble Bunny is a bathtub toy that retails for $29.99. A motorized mechanism sucks soapy water through the bunny’s mouth, a sheer polyurethane skin that is cushiony, smooth to the touch and lifelike. The bunny then vibrates at twelve unique settings as it plays music and emits bubbles into the air.
What is this case about?
A defective vibration setting. Settings one through eleven operate as expected. However, the twelfth setting causes apparatus malfunction when an object other than soapy water navigates the filtration system. Once the suction ensues, it transforms from a bath toy to a violent machine furiously grinding, spewing bubbles and playing music faster and faster until it shorts circuits or, in one case, exploded. In a few instances, the flow of bubble water reversed course resulting in the penis taking on bathwater in a horrific pseudo-vacuum scenario.
Why is Bathtime Buddies Inc. liable for the injuries?
The manufacturer of the Deluxe Bathtime Bubble Bunny does not specifically state, on the product packaging or instruction manual, that users should not stick their penises into the apparatus. We allege that the manufacturer did not properly vet this product during the testing phase, which has resulted in bath time hazards for people of all ages, not just their fathers, as the defendant, and many other media organizations, have publicly stated. In most cases, penises became lodged in the toys accidentally.
Will any judge or jury believe these injuries occurred accidentally?
We have successfully litigated thousands of cases and will call our own expert witnesses, who will testify that it is entirely conceivable—with the right scenario, dim lighting and proper intoxication—for a person to accidentally slip and spear their penis into a Deluxe Bathtime Bubble Bunny. In fact, it’s happened to several of our witnesses, professional doctors all of them, who have suffered similar bathtub-related injuries.
How much is the lawsuit seeking?
The class-action lawsuit is seeking damages in the amount of $400 million, a full refund and, should the manufacturer correct the product defect, one free Deluxe Bathtime Bubble Bunny per plaintiff.
Who may participate in the class action lawsuit?
Anyone who has suffered inadvertent phallus incarceration resulting in burning, scabbing, tugging, pinching; if water rushed the wrong way up the urethra resulting in scroto redundo, the medical term form scrotum flooding; if you now suffer from fear of bunnies, fear of bubbles, fear of bathtubs; if there was disturbing bending, twisting, squishing noises; if there was extraneous clamping, rashing, tearing, minor penile electrocution; if you had to visit an emergency room to have a six-pound singing bunny surgically truncated from your loins—you may participate in the class action lawsuit
Who may not participate?
Judgmental wives, other penis-less skeptics.