Waking the Dead
I’ve heard awkward stories about people who’ve seen their patrons in an uncomfortable setting. It’s never happened to me until quite recently. I was at a funeral. Can you see the writing on the wall? No? Let me elaborate just a bit more. The church where the funeral was being held was only a few blocks from the library I worked at. The church’s elementary school had visited the library a handful of times, and I was usually the one that read them stories. After the funeral, as I walked through the parking lot with other mourners, I heard a kid yell from the playground on the opposite side of the parking lot: “Hey, it’s the library guy.” I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a celebrity and not be able to go anywhere without someone shouting your name; I sort of felt like a celebrity at the funeral, and now I know how it feels … awkward—incredibly awkward. I looked at the handful of kids who had gathered together after they heard the child’s announcement; they stared at me with curious eyes, and seemed excited that I had stumbled onto their territory. I smiled, waved, and then bowed my head and pretended to be mournful. I hoped the wave would have been mighty enough to silence them. It wasn’t. Another child yelled across the parking lot: “What are you doing here, anyway?” I looked around hoping by chance no one else had noticed the scene. Unfortunately, people had. I wasn’t about to yell out to the kids, “I’m at a funeral,” so I pretended I hadn’t heard them and walked quickly to my car.

Lost & Found
Virgin Mobile cell phone (with a sticker picture of a boy who looks curiously similar to the “Mikey Likes It” boy)
Transparent green diskette
Old Navy sweater
Right-footed flip-flop
DVD: Day After Tomorrow (no case)
Tattered copy of Junie B. Jones Is a Graduation Girl
Children’s Pokemon wallet (no cash) with ticket stub for The Incredibles from the AMC 30 @ The Block of Orange