1. Keep your home brick-free.
2. Avoid brickyards and places where they lay brick.
3. Don’t go into or near old buildings made of brick. There is too much potential for a loose brick to fall out and hit you in the face.
4. Don’t attempt to rob Macaulay Culkin. He’ll throw a brick at your face.
5. Don’t play any sport if they’ve replaced the ball with a brick.
6. Don’t give children bricks. Any chance they get, and they’ll hit you in the face with one.
7. If someone asks if they can hit you in the face with a brick, say no. Any other response guarantees you’ll get hit in the face with a brick.
8. Refrain from attending or participating in any annual “Brick Tossing” competitions. That’s just asking for it.