How good would you say I am at lying?

Would you still love me if I moved to an off-the-grid commune?

How long did you claim me as a dependent?

How soon would you be cool with me claiming you as a dependant?

Can you proofread this?

If I send it to you totally blank, will you “proofread” it by filling it in?

You know how my whole career is a bit of a charity case? Can I say that my whole career is literally a charity case?

Can the government find you if you move into a new apartment every week?

Is it illegal to say you’re dead if you’re alive?

Do you have to get married to change your last name or can you just do it whenever?

If I mess this up will they just ask me for more money, or will I get sent to a debtor’s prison off the coast of Siberia?

Do you have to be rich to have an accountant?

How rich do you have to be to not pay taxes at all?

How much money do you realistically think I could make in the next week if I really hustle my buns off?

If you truly believe something is your responsibility but you just simply cannot find the energy or focus or acuity to do it, and you get completely overwhelmed if your mind even drifts in its general direction, does that make you a bad person?

Can I move back home if I promise to do my own dishes?

Am I allowed to move back home and pretend I’m a child again?

Why did you have me knowing that I’d one day have to do this?

What is “adjusted gross income?”