August 19, 2006

We had the most wonderful week at your cabin here on Lohanda Lake. Barring a couple rainy days, we had magnificent weather. A vacation we’ll remember for many years. Thank you.

- Linda and Matt Randolph

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August 26, 2006

Our stay here at the Lohanda Lake cabin has been stupendous. The weather was beyond magnificent – and unlike the Randolphs who stayed here the week prior – we welcomed the rainy days for the wonderful, crisp scent they gave the air, and the mist that rose around the water’s edge. Hard to imagine some might not appreciate such a gift of nature. A vacation that we will remember for decades.

- Patricia and Doug DiGiacamo

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August 18, 2007

So glad to have returned for another week here on Lohanda Lake. Our noon-time hikes up to Heron Peak replenished our spirits, and left us too tired to do much more than spend the evening sipping wine on the deck. The weather was perfect all week. Incidentally, in my note from last year I certainly didn’t mean to imply that the rainy days don’t have a value of their own. Hope that wasn’t misunderstood by any of the other guests! Anyway, thanks for renting to us again. Until next summer!

- Linda and Matt Randolph

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August 25, 2007

Ah yes, another year, another glimpse of untouched beauty on Lohanda Lake. We are so energized by the air here that we were compelled to hike daily, forgoing the shorter trail to Heron Peak for the far more majestic Mount Pemberton. Nights were for evening yoga on the deck followed by fruit drinks, non-alcoholic of course as we wouldn’t dream of polluting our interaction with nature.

Speaking of polluting, there was a slight musk in the cabin when we first arrived and we wondered if you had granted the tenants who stayed here before us permission to smoke flavored tobacco indoors? If not, maybe they simply enjoy a heavy diet and frequency of alcohol intake that produces a body scent with which I am unfamiliar. Thank you again for a magical week!

- Patricia and Doug DiGiacamo

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August 23, 2008

Before I address the wonderful week we’ve had, I feel the need to say that my husband and I are both non-smokers. We are also physically fit, health-conscious people who eat mostly fish and vegetables and drink alcohol either socially or to complement our meals. In fact, this week we drank no alcohol whatsoever, though I don’t see why that’s anyone else’s business. I don’t think anyone should be surprised to find odd odors in a lakeside rental cabin, and I see no reason why anyone should use this book to address other renters.

Now on to the good stuff! The sunsets were breathtaking as always. We even got to play animal hospital when a hurt chipmunk came limping up to our deck. We put him in a little box and gave him food and water until he seemed able to walk again, then we set him free. It made our heart so happy to watch him hopping off into the grass. Hope we see him next year!

- Linda and Matt Randolph

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August 30, 2008

Our week got off to a disturbing start when we stepped onto the deck and witnessed a mother chipmunk murdering and devouring her baby. We understand that this is something that happens when a baby chipmunk comes into contact with humans. The mother can smell the human scent on her spawn, especially when the human in question emits a particularly pungent odor, and she mistakes the baby for an enemy so she kills it and feeds on its corpse. We expect not everyone is aware that when you touch a chipmunk, even to give medical aid, you’re effectively signing its death certificate, all so you can briefly feel good about yourself. Sad, but we tried not to let it ruin our week.

And what a week! After bleaching the cutting boards and dishware to get rid of the fishy smell we found lingering there, we stepped outside for our first glimpse of the mountainous silhouette surrounding the lake. Such a humbling sight. We can understand why people would come here to get a handle on their drinking as the Randolphs did last week. Easier to succumb to the will of your higher power in such an environment, we’d imagine. Speaking of the Randolphs, we must disagree with their characterization of the cabin as a place predisposed to “odd odors.” If I were you I’d write off their complaints as delirious ramblings of newly recovering alcoholics still coming to grips with their sobriety.

- Patricia and Doug DiGiacamo

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August 22, 2009

To Patricia and Doug DiGiacamo,

Why are you doing this to us? Leave us alone! This cabin is so important to us, and year after year you use this guest book to cast aspersions at our character and turn the owner against us. Please just leave us be! We aren’t alcoholics and we think the house smells lovely!

To the owner,

Though I find it impolite to leave a guest book unsigned, this will be my last entry. Please know that we have had, and surely will continue to have, only the most wonderful vacations here on Lohanda Lake.

- Linda and Matt Randolph

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August 29, 2009

In the year since my last stay here at glorious Lohanda Lake I decided purely out of curiosity to do a little Googling of your other guests here in this book. Most of them turned up nothing, but Linda and Matt Randolph left quite a wild trail on the old World Wide Web. Here are the highlights:

Matt is a schoolteacher in Southeastern, PA. Or at least, he was, until a sex harassment lawsuit was filed against the school and Matt lost his job. Getting wrapped up in a scandal like that would explain the drinking I guess.

There are a lot of Linda Randolphs online, so I couldn’t pinpoint who she is with 100% certainty. But based on what I already know, I think I was able to narrow it down to three possibilities:

1. Linda Randolph of East Brunswick, NJ, who was arrested several times for animal cruelty for running an unlicensed puppy mill. I made the connection based on the seemingly gleeful way she turned a mother chipmunk against her own baby.

2. Linda Randolph of Staten Island, NY, a homeless prostitute who was profiled as one of many who engage in sex work to support their drinking habits.

3. Ayman Al-Zawahri, the long-time Al Qaeda mastermind. While Zawahri is an elderly man rumored to be residing near the Afghanistan-Pakistani border, it occurred to me that rumors are rumors, and were he to infiltrate our country he would do it in as unassuming a disguise as he could. What better disguise than that of a hard-drinking, animal loathing wife of a disgraced schoolteacher? You never know!

I only did this as a lark to get to know the people I share this house with, but I’d love to know if any of my guesses were true! Another beautiful week here on Lohanda.

- Patricia and Doug DiGiacamo

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August 28, 2010

I know I said I’d never write in this book again, and while I refuse to even address the claims that I might be abusive to animals, a prostitute, or an Al Qaeda master-mind, I do feel the need to address the things written here about my husband. He was one of 37 teachers let go from his school district due to budget cuts following a lawsuit filed against the district for gender bias in standardized testing. It had nothing whatsoever to do with sexual harassment. My husband got work in a new district within the year.

Thank you the summers in your cabin. We will not be staying here again for reasons that are probably obvious.

- Linda and Matt Randolph

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August 27, 2011

After asking year after year, we were so excited that we could at last book a stay for a FULL TWO WEEKS here on Lohanda Lake! One week was never enough to take it all in, so we’re thrilled the extra week was finally freed up. Thank you for being so accommodating.

- Patricia and Doug DiGiacamo