(In alphabetical order.)

Leadership1

Bill 2
Brad3
Brian
Brian4
Bryan5
Chris
Cliff
Daniel (Dan)
Danial (Dan)
Dan
Dave
Doug
Doug (Safety Doug)
Don6
Duane7
Dustin
Jay8
Mark
Mark
Matt
Mike9
Mike
Mike10
Mike
Todd11
Sheila

HR/Administrative Support12

Deb
Elizabeth13
Heather
Jane14
Judy
Julie15
Lynea16
Sara17

This list is page one of my report.

- - -

1 Yes, all of them are white.

2 His nickname is “Mufasa” because he’s always lying. I don’t think he’s aware of this nickname.

3 His name is actually Dan, but my mind thinks of him as Brad for some reason.

4 He responds well to candy. He had a root canal at the same time as his dog.

5 He was the supervisor who hired me. He called me at 10 PM two weeks after I started to tell me he quit. He was vacationing with his family at Harry Potter World at the time.

6 He keeps a 20-oz. Mountain Dew bottle on his desk that he uses as a spittoon.

7 He has a candy dish. It’s filled with loose Twizzlers and candy cigarettes.

8 He gives a countdown to winter at each meeting as if it’s a death clock.

9 The Big Boss, he’s a secret yeller — only when I’m alone with him in his office. He likes to use military metaphors and looks remarkably like Tik Tok from Return to Oz.

10 A self-professed ally, he accidentally emailed me a painting of a puppet orgy. It was very graphic.

11 It’s a long story.

12 Yes, all but one identify as white.

13 She said she likes reporting on what people say so she can say the words. Said the n-word in our first meeting. She has since taken another job.

14 She’s a hugger.

15 Has a pipe bomb on her desk.

16 The only name Word identified as misspelled. The only one on the list who doesn’t identify as white.

17 She has also taken another job.