“I came here to make friends, not to win.”

“We are, in no way, the team to beat.”

“I feel really cursed to have had this opportunity. (See also: “I’ve learned absolutely nothing from this experience and am a far worse for having had it.”)

“With this project, we bit off exactly the right amount to chew.”

“I hate the crown molding/stainless steel appliances/granite countertops in this house.”

“I’m here to find someone to have casual sex with.”

“This basement will make a great woman-cave for you, honey.”

“This is not at all dangerous. I know exactly how it’s going to turn out.”

“We’re going all prefab for this project. We really want to showcase this client’s generic sameness.”

“What’s great about this recipe is that it’s impossible to do at home. If you do try it, it will take all day and require ingredients that are simply not available from your local grocery.”

“He did not have near enough [alcohol] to drink.”

“We’re looking to bury the character of this old house, to really make it dull.”

“Having a baby while in high school is super easy.”

“My obesity bolsters my self-esteem.”

“I am only here for everyone else.”

“This stunt should be tried at home. We are not professionals.”

“Winning this competition will not change your life in a meaningful way.”