I. Dear woman I met, I am clearly overly attached to you
A. I want everyone to know this
II. Two things about me, though
A. Not into commitment
1. I am inflexible on this point
B. Really into strippers
1. I am inflexible on this point as well
III. Oh so you don’t trust me?
A. Doesn’t matter because I never really cared about you
B. I’ll be better off without you
IV. Wait, you’re seeing someone else now?
A. This is terribly unfair to me
B. Stop seeing this new person