Dear Hiring Manager:
I’m excited to submit my application for your Racial Ambassador opening. In the aftermath of the 2016 presidential election results, I applaud your organization’s efforts in recruiting a Racial Ambassador who can navigate the treacherous waters of discussing race at the workplace in a calm, meaningful, and non-violent atmosphere. Your commitment to helping your employees access and process their range of feelings when it comes to race — confusion, regret, guilt, or perhaps, complete obliviousness — is a crucial part of what makes you an industry leader, despite recent allegations about the non-diversity of your board of directors and your executive team. With my past and current experience as a person of color, I believe I am the ideal candidate for your search.
As your Racial Ambassador, my approach will include a series of non-judgmental drop-in workshops, addressing water cooler banter such as, “What about reverse racism?,” “I don’t see color,” “I’m not racist but,” “My son’s Asian wife,” “My Black friend said,” “I can say that because I’m gay,” and a range of other topics which might otherwise expose certain employees to awkward feelings when they discover they may have unintentionally said or done something racist or xenophobic. I am confident that my strategies will deliver results to meet your company’s best practice standards without diminishing your white employees’ productivity output or level of entitlement to voice their opinions on race — in fact, I’m certain they will tell me that they have things to teach me, an Asian American, about race relations in the US — and I assure you, I am here to listen, and learn!
An additional asset I bring to the table: I am a woman, and can thus connect honestly and openly (“woman to woman,” “girl talk,” etc.) with your female employees, especially those who may be eager to show me photos of their biracial and/or transracially-adopted children as concrete evidence of their non-racist lifestyles. As your Racial Ambassador, I see my role as not only as an educator and mentor, but also as a bottomless void into where your white employees may pitch their racially-charged confessions, unassuming microaggressions, and all manner of fears about illegal immigrants and refugees draining tax dollars and stealing jobs.
I understand this is a temp position, given all the uncertainty surrounding 2017 in general. Still, I hope I’ve clearly conveyed my enthusiasm for the job. My CV is attached, and I look forward to hearing from you soon to set up an interview.