How Sad is That Sandwich in the Window?

1. Chicken and Cucumber
The loss of a parent.

2. Chicken Avocado
The loss of a stepparent.

3. Classic Super Club
Has anyone seen our cat? She is four years old, black and white, and answers to ‘Susan.’ Last seen three weeks ago. My husband hasn’t been sleeping well ever since. Please check your outhouses and cupboards as she likes to crawl into small spaces.

4. Curried Chickpeas and Mango Chutney
Mumps as an adult.

5. Crayfish and Avocado
That hormonal sadness that masquerades as genuine despondency at the fate of the world’s poorest people until you remember what day of the month it is.

6. Ham and Cheese
A second — even more bitter — divorce.

7. Mature Cheddar and Pret Pickle
“Someone Like You” — Adele

8. Super Greens and Reds
Finding a box at your parents’ house with your teeth from childhood and remembering when you had your whole life ahead of you.

9. Tuna and Cucumber
Watership Down

10. Veggie New Yorker on Rye
Really old people struggling with bags on public transport.

11.Scottish Smoked Salmon

12. Free-range Egg Mayo
Mummy, while you were on the phone I gave Brendan a bath and now he’s all floppy.