Punch Lines Suggested by Ashton Kutcher for Punk’d that Were Rejected Due to Their Archaic Nature - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Internet Tendency

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

GRIEFSTRIKE! THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO MOURNING

“This is the hilarious and informative grief handbook I didn’t know I needed. But hopefully not too soon.”
—Judd Apatow

Bring home Griefstrike! today.

You’ve been hoodwinked!

You have been beguiled by my cohorts!

You are the victim of our flimflam!

You, unfortunately, are the jestee!

You are the one who was hornswoggled!

It is you the gomeril!

The previous contingency was an apery!

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