If the unequivocally and overwhelmingly positive reaction from the Dodge Ram Martin Luther King Jr. commercial taught us one thing, it’s that our favorite Civil Rights Heroes left a legacy to help Americans do what Americans do best: sell things. The MLK RAM commercial had some stiff competition in the world of Civil Rights capitalism, here are a few of the rejected ads.

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Malcolm X for Mr. Clean:
“Message to the Grass Stains”

“A revolution is bloody. Revolution is hostile. Revolution knows no compromise. Revolution overturns and destroys everything that gets in its way. And you, sitting around here like ‘how the hell are we going to tidy up this mess?’ Presenting, Mr. Clean Ultimate Mop Package. Revolutionize the way you get rid of messes with Mr. Clean.”

Maya Angelou for Tempurpedic:
“I Know Why The Caged Bird Has Scoliosis”

“The caged bird sings with a fearful trill of things unknown but longed for still and his tune is heard on the distant hill for the caged bird sings of freedom, freedom from a mattress that does not shape the unique curvature of its overworked back. The free bird thinks of a better nights sleep, a restful and peaceful night. The caged bird sings of Tempurpedic.”

Frederick Douglass for Priceline:
“The Hypocrisy of American Travel”

“Am I to argue that it is wrong to make men brutes, to rob them of their liberty, to work them without wages, to keep them ignorant of their relations to their fellow men… or am I to argue that it be more wrong to keep a man from scoring the lowest prices on hotels, airfare, and rental cars while guaranteeing a price match against competitors. Don’t be a slave to price hikes with Priceline.”

Sojourner Truth for Capital One:
“Ain’t I a Credit Card Owner”

“That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! That is why I switched to Capital One. I don’t need anyone, and Capital One gives me the freedom to buy my own damn carriage.”

Thurgood Marshall for AT&T:
“Dissent from your cellular plan”

“We must dissent from indifference. We must dissent from apathy. We must dissent from fear, the hatred, and mistrust of a weak cellular network. We must not become disillusioned by the disloyalty of a man who went from “Can you hear me now?” to “You hear that?” The scales of justice tip towards an unlimited data plan with no dropped calls and infinite texts. Because we are America, and America is AT&T.”