Next time I’m at a concert and the hipster standing next to me lifts his lighter into the air during his favorite song, I’m going to ask to borrow that lighter. Then I’m going to set that hipster on fire. As he rolls on the ground trying to extinguish the highly combustible blend of cotton and polyester that just moments earlier was a ringer T-shirt decorated with an Air Supply silk-screen that’s suddenly even more ironic, I’m going to ask, “Why aren’t you yelling ’”Freebird"!’ now?"
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
August 3, 2006