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Articles by
Brian Beatty
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July 13, 2009One-Size-Fits-All Hairnets Are a Lie Perpetuated by the Hairnet Industry
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April 3, 2009Jokes by Brian Beatty: Good Night
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April 2, 2009Jokes by Brian Beatty: Got Your Toes
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April 1, 2009Jokes by Brian Beatty: Ironic Pentameter
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March 31, 2009Jokes by Brian Beatty: Doggone It
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March 30, 2009Jokes by Brian Beatty: Patridiotic
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March 9, 2009Jokes by Brian Beatty: Jumbo Brat
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February 17, 2009Jokes by Brian Beatty: 2%
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January 28, 2009Jokes by Brian Beatty: Wack-Ed Flow
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January 12, 2009Jokes by Brian Beatty: Loverboys
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December 23, 2008Jokes by Brian Beatty: Unhappy Holidays
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November 27, 2008Jokes by Brian Beatty: Thankful
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October 8, 2021A Typical Friday in Oregon, as Imagined by My East Coast Friends
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 30, 2021This Is Your Kid’s School and Even Though the Emergency Contact Form Lists Your Husband, We Need You, the Mom
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September 22, 2021It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 19, 2021A Morally Injured Healthcare Worker’s Recommendations for Updating Your Advanced Medical Directives During the COVID-19 Pandemic
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October 19, 2021Tragedians in Cars Getting Coffee
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October 18, 2021The University Will Be Answering Questions About Its New Budget Plan Only with Direct Quotations from Gertrude Stein’s Tender Buttons
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October 18, 2021My Existentialist Life Hacks