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December 23, 2008

Jokes by Brian Beatty

Unhappy Holidays

by Brian Beatty

Everyone blames commercialism for ruining the holidays. I think my mother has done her part, too.

Suggested Reads

January 4, 2000

Do They Know It’s Christmas After All?

by Henry Alford
May 17, 1999

Top Ten Most Censored Press Release of 1998. No. 3

by McSweeney's Editors
December 20, 2007

Monologue: Jesus Christ Decides He Doesn’t Want to Celebrate His Birthday This Year

by Matt Bannish
September 15, 2003

Open Letter: An Open Letter to Saint Nicholas

by Evan P Schneider

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February 13, 2019

Don’t Get Married Before You Live Together

by Ginny Hogan
February 8, 2019

List: Word Problems for the Race Conscious

by Dymir Arthur
January 30, 2019

Monologue: I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult

by Tom Ellison
February 19, 2019

Don’t Let the Pigeon Build a Border Wall!

by Clancy Tripp

Recently

February 22, 2019

Sophocles’ Acceptance Speech for Best Original Tragedy

by Arthur Imperatore and Brian Geiger
February 22, 2019

List: My 2019 Oscar Night Predictions

by Wendi Aarons
February 22, 2019

Don’t Call It a Comeback: Animated Features Forthcoming From John Lasseter’s New Studio

by Kimberly Harrington
February 22, 2019

List: Things That Outnumber Women Who’ve Been Nominated for an Oscar for Best Director

by Jesse Shamon