Hey fellas, we need to talk about our new album, The Dark Side of the Moon. It’s coming along pretty well, I think. I really believe we’re making a good album here, but I’m getting worried that we’re losing track of the big picture, which is that we need this to sync up with The Wizard of Oz for some reason.

We all knew going into this what the goal was. And so far we’re doing okay on that front. But I’m starting to wonder whether some of you are simply focused on making a masterpiece that revolutionizes psychedelic and progressive rock. I mean, I’m getting concerned that maybe we’re focusing too much on the musical side of things. So let’s get back on track to our goal of having parts of this album vaguely sync up with a classic Hollywood movie from the 1930s arbitrarily.

Don’t get me wrong, “Time” has great progressions, and I’m digging the build-up. But it’s really bothering me that the bridge isn’t syncing up to when the Munchkins are dancing around on the Yellow Brick Road. And if we aren’t able to make the flying monkeys take off as the saxophone solo kicks in during “Us and Them,” then what are we even doing this for? Are we just content being hacks?

Come on boys, it’s the early 1970s, and we’re still trying to establish our status as rock superstars. Are we really going to do that with just another album that has flawless progressions, groundbreaking instrumentation, and deep and meaningful vocals? Or are we going to make an album that plays along with a classic children’s fantasy film when you start playing it at the same time as when the MGM Lion roars for the third time or some absolute nonsense like that?

I know it’s tough guys, but we’re Pink Floyd. Remember, we’re not making this for the critics, or even for the people that attend our concerts. We’re making it for the real fans, the 12-year-old boys who are smoking weed for the first time in the room above their friend’s garage. They are the only ones who truly understand how deep and complex our music is — you can’t get anything past those guys.

Anyways fellas, I guess it’ll probably be okay. If we’re all just happy with making what might become one of the legendary rock albums of all time, then so be it. I just thought we were more than that. We really have a chance to define our legacy here.

So do we want to be the band that took progressive rock into the mainstream of popular culture? Or do we want to be Pink Floyd, the band responsible for some sort of bullshit concept album where we synced our music up to some arbitrary film for some reason? Choice is yours, boys.