The Tech Bro Turned Shaman

He started making six figures immediately out of college. But it just felt… hollow, y’know? Now, he’s done ayahuasca once and started calling himself a shaman. Want to know more? Well, he’ll tell you about it whether you want to hear it or not. And yes, he is writing a memoir.

The Bliss Follower

She will 100% agree to help you move your couch, but then not show up because her bliss also told her to get day drunk on bottomless mimosas. Don’t worry, the joke’s on her: she’s breaking her no-sugar diet.

The DJ Who You Met Once and Adds You to His Email List

You didn’t even give him your email address, but he found it and added you. Now you’re constantly barraged by invitations to somewhere called “The Slick” at 11:30 pm on Tuesday nights.

The Child Who Makes More Money Than You Ever Will

He has millions of followers and the talent of a discarded sock. But that doesn’t stop him from making a CEO’s salary by live-streaming his every move, including the conversation you’re having with him right now. “Chill, bro,” he tells you. “It’s not my fault you’re not monetizing your life.”

The Boutique Owner Who Somehow Makes a Living

Her store is beautiful and sparse, decorated with brass triangles and frequented by patrons with difficult-to-understand hats. How does she make enough money to survive when her store only sells five shirts, three bird skeletons, and a driftwood dreamcatcher? She asks the universe for help. (And when that doesn’t work, she asks her parents.)