CHARACTERS:
Kotaku
The Guardian
NPR
Telegraph
Business Insider
Huffington Post
Motherboard
Forbes
Yahoo! Tech
IGN
PC Gamer
GQ

ACT I

[Enter KOTAKU, THE GUARDIAN, NPR, TELEGRAPH, and BUSINESS INSIDER.]

KOTAKU: “It is an unusual and contradictory game, one that asks very little of its players while simultaneously demanding a great deal.”

THE GUARDIAN: “An unimaginably huge sandbox to be approached however you choose.”

NPR: “But to what purpose?”

BUSINESS INSIDER: “You’re just an explorer and your only goal — if you choose to follow it — is to get to the center of the universe.”

TELEGRAPH: “There’s an overarching pull to reach the centre of the universe to find whatever waits there.”

BUSINESS INSIDER: “What happens when you get there?”

NPR: “There are hints about something, a great person or a great power being there.”

THE GUARDIAN: “These overarching goals were so obviously an afterthought.”

[Enter MOTHERBOARD, HUFFPO, FORBES, YAHOO! TECH, and IGN.]

MOTHERBOARD: “It’s cool because I chose where to go and I chose what to build.”

HUFFPO: “You are free to tell your own story, just the way you like it.”

BUSINESS INSIDER: “I realized that I was helping to fill out the collective knowledge of the universe.”

FORBES: “What sounds cool on paper is less gripping in execution.”

KOTAKU: “It gets a few big things right and a hundred little things wrong.”

FORBES: “Much was promised that wasn’t delivered.”

KOTAKU: “It draws you in with a promise of endless splendor, then swiftly reveals itself to be something much more ordinary.”

YAHOO! TECH: “Equally troubling is the repetitive nature of the gameplay itself.”

FORBES: “A monotonous and dreary affair with pretty visuals and the promise of something more just over the horizon.”

YAHOO! TECH: “A lot of the same thing, over and over again.”

IGN: “I lost faith that it had any more meaningful things to show me no matter how far I traveled.”

KOTAKU: “I gave up hope of finding something striking or unique.”

HUFFPO: “I could not shake off that feeling of being utterly alone.”

FORBES: “Sameness, and a withering lonesomeness…”

KOTAKU: “Skating across the surface of an endless puddle, searching for depths that didn’t exist.”

[Enter PC GAMER and GQ.]

FORBES: “It’s not all bad, of course. There’s something spellbinding at times.”

HUFFPO: “Constantly entertaining.”

TELEGRAPH: “In a world this vast and full of surprises, there is always something new to see and hear.”

NPR: “All that is true. It is pretty. The music is great. The ambition — also great. But to me it ends up feeling like a vast universe where nothing really happens or matters.”

IGN: “The stakes are incredibly low.”

FORBES: “Less about the wonder of exploration, and more about the grind for better stuff.”

TELEGRAPH: “Simple buffs designed to give you tangible reasons to keep exploring more.”

IGN: “All I’ve really discovered is more of the same.”

PC GAMER: “I’ve touched an infinite universe and walked away with some nice vacation photos.”

HUFFPO: “… no other man will ever know of your exploits in the vast outer space.”

FORBES: “It all simply serves to make me wish this were another game entirely. Something with more purpose. Something with less randomness and more design.”

BUSINESS INSIDER: “The sense of mystery is what drives me forward.”

KOTAKU: “I met the puddle halfway, and found depth where there had been none.”

GQ: “I am… not sure if I like it?”

NPR: “We haven’t finished the game yet.”

[Exeunt.]