Beauty and the Beast

Angelique Margeaux, Belle’s mother, survives the plague and campaigns on her inspiring story to eventually become France’s Minister of Solidarity and Health. As her first act in office, she drafts legislation that provides funding for a think tank on Stockholm Syndrome. A statue is erected in Paris’ Place De La Concorde to honor her for lowering the rate of young women imprisoned by cursed princes by a full 46%.


Harriet Guernswile raises her daughter to be critical of the gender wage-gap. The mother-daughter duo unionizes all the servants in the kingdom, raising the minimum wage to 20 pumpkins per hour. Harriet also teaches Cinderella to shop for sensible footwear, like Crocs, Keds, Clarks, and other non-glass brands.


Bambara, who names her son after herself in a feminist subversion of norms, narrowly avoids gunfire. From that day on, she vows to restrict deranged poachers and hunters from accessing guns and founds Deers Demand Action (DDA). Bambi becomes a sturdy buck and is able to master the art of balanced ice rink walking.


Maya is a public interest lawyer with a deep knowledge of genie contract law. On the weekends, she volunteers as a trainer for workshops on overcoming magic-induced oppression. Aladdin is inspired by her work ethic to complete a 5-year BA/MBA and becomes independently wealthy as an investor in the booming lamp industry. He pays it forward by donating most of his wealth to support youth entrepreneurship programs in Agrabah.

Snow White

The Good Queen Eva is never poisoned by the Evil Queen in a plot to replace her. Eva creates a successful line of cruelty-free self-tanners. Snow learns from her strong mother figure to select more appropriate roommates than septet middle-aged miners. The Evil Queen, meanwhile, channels her competitive energy into building an empire of Skinnyqueen™ appletinis.

The Little Mermaid

Athena P. Mermaid innovates the under-sea labor force to retain childcare for Ariel and her six sisters. After calling on local flounders to nanny-share throughout the neighborhood, Athena returns to work and invents a biodegradable fork that doesn’t turn to mush in water. With her fork funds, she purchases the chain Red Lobster LLC, transforming it into outreach for disenfranchised crustaceans.


The Blue Fairy declares Jiminy Cricket to be Pinocchio’s official conscience and becomes a premiere ethics counselor, responsible for moral improvements worldwide. The Blue Fairy plans to continue this work until the end of time, which technically she can do as a fairy, but admittedly she’s fallen behind on some ethics-spreading since 2016.


Human male Linguini’s mother, Renata, is not human; instead, she is a highly skilled pasta.

The Sword and the Stone

Grenelda, young Arthur’s mother, raises her son in a tumultuous time in England. While many try to prove themselves worthy of ruling the kingdom by pulling a sword from a big ol’ rock, Grenelda invents a system of politics based on tallying taxpayers’ votes. Armed with this knowledge and a strong parental figure, Arthur never becomes King, which is good because he is 12.

Finding Nemo

Nancy Fish is a preeminent ichthyologist and a really sweet lady. She leads a campaign to eliminate plastic from the Great Barrier Reef and wins “Neighbor of the Year.” Nancy appeals to the Goldfish company to develop snacks that portray a more diverse range of fish emotions to promote mental wellness. Her project is titled, “Not All Fish Smile Back (And That’s OK!)”