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Things Editorial Assistants Should Never Say to Senior Editors.
I was inputting your edits and I noticed you spelled a few words wrong. Most of them were obvious mistakes, so I just changed them. Unless you were trying to misspell them on purpose to prove a point or something.
The Chicago Manual of Style is good, but honestly, I prefer to use my own instincts.
Have you read The Da Vinci Code? It is SO good.
Shirley McLean is signing copies of her new book in the conference room. Can I go?
No, thanks, I don’t want to mail that.
His style is so unique—he’s like Victor Hugo meets David Sedaris, except he’s not nearly as good as either of those guys.
Do you know what our imprint needs? A book about porn. No, I’m serious.
I’ve written a few novels myself, you know.
These must be the halcyon years of your career, huh? [pause] Did I use “halcyon” correctly—I didn’t, did I? Fuck…
Oh, my God, I’m sorry—I just assumed you were a lesbian.
SUGGESTED READSJohn Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Notes on “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” as Delivered to Axl Rose by His Editor
by John Moe (7/7/2006)
List: Song Titles, Before Editing for Language Efficiency and Clarity
by Jack Schneider, Moses Rifkin and Paul Sacchetti (5/10/2005)
Excerpts From My Mother’s Editorial Notes On My Letters To Santa, 1987-2000
by Jen Statsky (12/24/2015)
RECENTLYI Have Signed the Guestbook of Your Charming Cottage By the Sea
by Dan Kennedy (8/26/2016)
List: Back-to-School Shopping List for Your Teenager Who’s Just Going Through a Phase
by Madison Seely (8/26/2016)
Doing Science: The Oxygen Crisis, or, Sometimes These Things Name Themselves
by Emily Helliwell (8/26/2016)
POPULARI Would Rather Do Anything Else Than Write the Syllabus for Your Class
by Robin Lee Mozer (8/25/2016)
Do You Have a Child or Have You Just Been Followed Home By a Hyena?
by Kira Jane Buxton (8/23/2016)
List: Facebook Posts by People You Went to High School With Scavenger Hunt—Election Edition
by Derrick Fenner (8/23/2016)