Thanks for quick turnaround in filing this Donald Trump Twitter piece! Really appreciate it. I’ve just got a few revisions below for you to take a look at when you get the chance, then we can run this in its entirety this afternoon. I didn’t change much, just added a little more context and nuance to the situation while removing some unnecessary wordiness. Replacement text in red. Much obliged!
President Trump Tweets Racist Remarks
At Minority Congresswomen, Tells Them To “Go Back”
To Where They Came From
[NORMALLY EDITORS DECIDE THE HEADLINE, BUT I’LL TAKE THIS INTO CONSIDERATION]
once again [NOT COMFORTABLE REFERRING BACK TO OTHER INSTANCES WE CAN’T CONFIRM AS RACIST] incited racial stereotyping controversial discussion over the weekend during another of his Twitter tirades when he accused four congresswomen, all people of color, of being anti-American Communists and unwelcome immigrants to this nation, despite only one of them actually moving here from a foreign country and all of them repeatedly on record as supportive of many American policies. [TOO WORDY] despite multiple allegations to the contrary.
The comments made by the Commander-in-Chief are
another part of a long list of vitriolic incitements observations against his political opponents [TOO STRONG A WORD CHOICE] detractors, often women and minorities [UNLESS WE CAN CONFIRM 100% IT’S “OFTEN,” I SAY CUT THE WHOLE THING], and present a challenge for anyone who still argues he is not a racist bigot [IS IT AN ACTUAL CHALLENGE? MIGHT CUT THAT SECTION OF THE SENTENCE, TOO]. Earlier this summer, President Trump retweeted a video depicting Ilhan Omar edited between traumatic images of 9/11, suggesting the Somalian-born Representative has ties to Al-Qaeda [UNLESS WE CAN CONFIRM WITH TRUMP OFFICIALS THIS WAS THE INTENTION, I DON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE MAKING ANY INFERENCES HERE]. The retweeted video resulted in a massive wave of [TOO REMINISCENT OF CLIMATE CHANGE, REWORD TO AVOID COMPLAINTS] attacks directed at the congresswoman, including death threats [UNLESS WE CAN CONFIRM THESE THREATS FROM THE PEOPLE WHO SAID THEM, I SAY CUT IT], but so far have not silenced the elected official from expressing political dissent [TOO SEVERE A WORDING, INFERS IT TO BE EXTREMELY SERIOUS MATTER. NOT OUR JOB TO DO THAT] her concerns.
Condemnation from Trump’s own party has been
slow to arrive [TIME IS RELATIVE] and limited in scope [DEFINE “SCOPE,” BUT I THINK WE SHOULD CUT IT], seemingly implying the statements are not worth investigation [A BIT OF A REACH, NO?], while establishment Democrats are only nominally more vocal in their responses [OFF-TOPIC, KEEP READERS’ ATTENTION ON TRUMP’S TWEETS].
Trump’s tweets appear to have originated after the congresswomen
criticized [SPICE UP WORDING] attacked his administration’s increasing reliance on concentration camps [C’MON, WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS ONE BEFORE] federal hotels to house minorities housing people of color [LOADED TERM, ALREADY RELYING ON IT TOO MUCH IN THIS ARTICLE] along the US-Mexico border, a policy that has resulted in many deaths and rapidly multiplying allegations of sexual assault, violence, and both psychological and physical torture [ARE WE SURE ABOUT THIS? THIS IS A PAPER OF RECORD, AND WE HAVE A COMMITMENT TO STRAIGHTFORWARD FACTS, SO MY GUT INSTINCT IS TO CUT THAT LAST SECTION ENTIRELY].
When reached for comment, the President
expressed no remorse demurred and doubled down on the multiple racist lies [STATEMENTS]. Again, Republicans were largely silent on the matter, indicating agreement or lack of interest in the matter [GIVE THEM A FEW MORE DAYS, THEY’RE BUSY PEOPLE]. The concentration camps on United States soil are still operational. [NOT FOLLOWING YOU HERE. DON’T PLAY TO YOUR READERS’ EMOTIONS, JUST REPORT THE TRUTH. OTHERWISE, GREAT FIRST DRAFT!]