1. Stop finishing other people’s sentences.
2. Volunteer as a part-time Santa.
3. Send your parents on a cruise to Purgatory.
4. Give Mussolini a hotfoot.
5. Order fifteen pizzas using Judas’s name.
6. If you’re in demon school, tell the teacher that Cerberus ate your homework.
7. Muse aloud, “So it’s NOT the humidity, after all!”
8. Ask Charon if he has change for a twenty.
9. Get that mole looked at.
10. Complain that red is so ten minutes ago.
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.