Enjoy a quiet stroll by the seaside. Bring your computer and log onto Facebook. Tie brick around computer. Drop computer into sea.

Take an art class. Build a sculpture of Mel Gibson out of bacon. Congratulate it on its Oscar nod before hoisting it over fence at local dog park.

Put a quarter in a brightly colored jar every time someone mentions 1984. At end of day treat self to new boat.

Attend a cheese-making workshop. Make lots of cheese. Throw cheese at television.

Call your local senator’s office every seven minutes to softly sing the opening bars of “Sussudio.”

Put on foam platform sandals and pretend it’s the ’90s. Watch Mad About You while eating Cheeto Paws.

Meditate for five minutes each morning before putting fist through window.

Spray fire hose of Malbec directly at own face.

Take a tango lesson. In Argentina. Where you now live.