The role of the delivery room doctor will be played by Albert Jenkins.

The role of the cabbie who drives the new family home from the hospital will be played by Roland Ferris.

The role of your father will be played by an older, sterner man.

The role of your mother will be played by a younger, more defenseless woman.

The role of your hometown will be played by an adjoining town, wealthier but without the same sense of community.

The role of your first job will be played by an idle summer at the country club.

The role of your wife will be played by your ex-girlfriend.

The role of planned pregnancy will be played by unplanned pregnancy.

The role of your loving son will be played by an ingrate.

The role of your loyal business partner will be played by a deceitful colleague.

The role of your best friend will be played by a neighbor who tends his lawn obsessively and rarely speaks to you.

The role of God will be played by a gnawing sense of despair that cannot be alleviated by alcohol.

The role of the twenty-year anniversary will be played by divorce.

The role of prosperity will be played by bankruptcy.

The role of retirement will be played by a brief period of manic travel that culminates in a weekend spent in a hotel with a seventeen-year old Thai prostitute.

The role of flu will be played by diabetes.

The role of old age will be played by single-car accident, ruled suspicious.