MARRIAGE = 1 MAN + 1 WOMAN but after all these wonderful years together I’m glad we decided to invite a third party, someone we both knew and trusted, into our bedroom. It was great and only made me better appreciate how much I LOVE YOU HONEY.

- - -

I AM PRO CHOICE BUT if someone gave me the choice of pressing a button and I’d get a million dollars except a stranger would die—like in that movie?—MAN I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO…

- - -

It’s Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Lucy, who always did everything she could to make me feel insignificant.

- - -

NO BLOOD FOR Oh crap I just remembered I need to buy some olive oil. And come to think of it, it’s been years since I last gave blood. It’s not like it takes long, and they always need all that they can get—people should really think of it as a civic duty, but here I am and I can’t even remember the last time I went. Today though, right after this: gonna go, give blood, get a free biscuit. BRING OUR TROOPS HOME.

- - -

Keep your laws OFF MY BODY! But don’t stop running your fingers through my hair or whispering to me with your hot, dirty mouth pressed against my ear, you sexy Senator you.