Empty soda can: Use shiny bottom of can to reflect sunlight and signal for help.

Inflatable plastic bag on oxygen mask: Urine receptacle, just in case thirst becomes unbearable.

One leftover airline peanut: Cuts the taste of the urine.

Headband from oxygen mask: Remove band from mask and create rudimentary fishing line by attaching safety pin to end of band.

The other leftover airline peanut: Attempt to impale nut on safety pin for fish bait.

Headphones: After unsuccessful attempt to skewer nut with safety pin, use the headphone cord to garrote the juiciest-looking fellow survivor.

Businessman from seat 10D: Lunch.

Tray table: Serving platter, for nicest presentation possible given the circumstances.

Grandmother from seat 13F: Dinner.

Barf bag: Squirrel away uneaten Grandma tidbits for later.

Laminated emergency instruction card, from the seat pocket in front of you: Pick your teeth with corner of card after midnight snack.

Armrest: Administer firm blows to the snouts of circling sharks.

Insipid airline magazine: Stave off Ocean Madness by painstakingly separating sodden pages, memorizing the layout of Atlanta Hartsfield Airport, and wondering what your hotel room on Virgin Gorda might have looked like.