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Articles by
Andrew Martin
Andrew Martin is a writer and comedian living in Los Angeles.
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January 28, 2019I Am So Progressive That I Am Already Preparing My 2020 Protest Vote For Donald Trump
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December 13, 2018We’re the Board of Directors for The Polar Express and We’re Begging the President: Get to Infrastructure Week Already
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July 25, 2017Other Meetings Jared Kushner Has Attended Without Realizing What They Were
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May 23, 2017Casting Call for Universal’s Rebooted Sexy Lady Monster Universe
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January 16, 2017The Young Pope Walks Into a Bar…
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November 15, 2016Clearing Up the Confusion Surrounding Valley High’s Homecoming King Selection Process
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October 31, 2016I Don’t Know What That Book Was Talking About, My Pet Sematary is Great!
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July 7, 2016All of Your Internet Petitions Have Been Approved!
Trending 🔥
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September 22, 2022It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 20, 2022Should I Bring Anything to the Dinner Tonight or Just My Crippling Anxiety?
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September 15, 2022We Are a Picturesque Small Town and We Refuse to Be the Setting for Your Romantic Comedy
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September 21, 2022An Open Letter to Bluey’s Parents: Please Stop
Recently
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September 27, 2022The White House’s Plan to Cancel Student Loan Debt Will Cost—Who Cares? Money Is Made Up and We Spend Twice That Much on the Military Every Year
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September 27, 2022McSweeney’s Books: “Boy in Blue”: An Excerpt from Courtney Zoffness’s Spilt Milk
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September 27, 2022Ineffective Emotional Monologues Deleted from Three Movies
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September 26, 2022I’m Michelangelo, and Everyone on this Ceiling Is as Naked and Jacked as God Intended