McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Articles by
Andrew Martin
Andrew Martin is a writer and comedian living in Los Angeles.
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January 28, 2019I Am So Progressive That I Am Already Preparing My 2020 Protest Vote For Donald Trump
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December 13, 2018We’re The Board of Directors for The Polar Express and We’re Begging the President: Get to Infrastructure Week Already
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July 25, 2017Other Meetings Jared Kushner Has Attended Without Realizing What They Were
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May 23, 2017Casting Call for Universal’s Rebooted Sexy Lady Monster Universe
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January 16, 2017The Young Pope Walks Into a Bar…
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November 15, 2016Clearing Up the Confusion Surrounding Valley High’s Homecoming King Selection Process
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October 31, 2016I Don’t Know What That Book Was Talking About, My Pet Sematary is Great!
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July 7, 2016All of Your Internet Petitions Have Been Approved!
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January 30, 2019Monologue: I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult
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September 19, 2017If Bostonians Loved Other Local Institutions the Way They Love Their Local Sports Franchises
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February 4, 2019I Am a Pacific Northwest Man on Tinder and I Will Die If I Go Indoors
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February 8, 2019List: Word Problems for the Race Conscious
Recently
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February 15, 2019How to Finish Your Dissertation Before the Heat Death and Gradual Extinction of the Universe
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February 15, 2019List: Six Reasons Why You Should Vote for Me, Old White Man Corpse, in 2020
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February 15, 2019Spoiler Alerts From the Passenger Scheduled to Sit Beside You On Your Next Flight
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February 14, 2019Teasers for the Hallmark Channel’s Valentine’s Day Movie Lineup