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Articles by
Andrew Martin
Andrew Martin is a writer and comedian living in Los Angeles.
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January 28, 2019I Am So Progressive That I Am Already Preparing My 2020 Protest Vote For Donald Trump
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December 13, 2018We’re the Board of Directors for The Polar Express and We’re Begging the President: Get to Infrastructure Week Already
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July 25, 2017Other Meetings Jared Kushner Has Attended Without Realizing What They Were
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May 23, 2017Casting Call for Universal’s Rebooted Sexy Lady Monster Universe
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January 16, 2017The Young Pope Walks Into a Bar…
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November 15, 2016Clearing Up the Confusion Surrounding Valley High’s Homecoming King Selection Process
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October 31, 2016I Don’t Know What That Book Was Talking About, My Pet Sematary is Great!
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July 7, 2016All of Your Internet Petitions Have Been Approved!
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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May 18, 2022A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem
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November 13, 2018If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
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May 13, 2022A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Shortage
Recently
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May 24, 2022A User Manual for Your New Home Alarm System, D.O.G.
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May 24, 2022I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: Scarlet Letter
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May 24, 2022An Open Letter to Women’s Magazines Who Promote Body Positivity with Totally Not Photoshopped Images of Naked Celebrities
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May 23, 2022Our Empire Can’t Afford Both Bread and Circuses, So from Here on Out No More Bread, Just Circuses