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Articles by
Andy Newton
Andy Newton is a writer living in Astoria, Queens.
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June 12, 2018Other Notable “Deals” Throughout History
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May 31, 2018The One Where Everything’s 2018
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February 5, 2018A Day In the Life of Carter Page
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December 21, 2016A Note on the Future of Santa’s Workshop
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November 11, 2016Comforters to Wrap Yourself In While Weeping Over the Fate of American Democracy
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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January 24, 2023Macroeconomic Changes Have Made It Impossible for Me to Want to Pay You
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January 10, 2023Fifteen Long-Overdue Slang Terms for Female Masturbation
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January 19, 2023Oh God, Someone Gave Me Whiskey Stones