Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Articles by
Andy Newton
Andy Newton is a writer living in Astoria, Queens.
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June 12, 2018Other Notable “Deals” Throughout History
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May 31, 2018List: The One Where Everything’s 2018
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February 5, 2018A Day In the Life of Carter Page
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December 21, 2016
A Note on the Future of Santa’s Workshop -
November 11, 2016List: Comforters to Wrap Yourself In While Weeping Over the Fate of American Democracy
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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March 18, 2019March Sadness
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March 19, 2019List: Impossible reCAPTCHAs
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March 25, 2019Screw You, Losers! Our Narcissistic, Corrupt, Racist, Anti-Science, Transphobic, Sexist, Classist, Nationalistic, Serial-Lying Adulterer President Didn’t Collude With Russia to Help Win an Already Gerrymandered Election!
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March 22, 2019To Make It As an Artist, I Recommend Having Unlimited Time and Money
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March 22, 2019List: What Guests Said At the Patriarchy’s Funeral
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March 22, 2019
Phoenix, a New Mini-Book by Dave Eggers About His Visit to an Arizona Trump Rally, at Which Dozens of Citizens Freely Carried AR-15s, Hundreds (Including the Author) Were Teargassed, and Miraculously No One Was Killed or Wounded