The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Andy Newton
Andy Newton is a writer living in Astoria, Queens.
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June 12, 2018Other Notable “Deals” Throughout History
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May 31, 2018The One Where Everything’s 2018
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February 5, 2018A Day In the Life of Carter Page
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December 21, 2016A Note on the Future of Santa’s Workshop
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November 11, 2016Comforters to Wrap Yourself In While Weeping Over the Fate of American Democracy
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
Recently
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February 14, 2025Quotes from Famous Romance Films Rewritten for the First Weeks of Trump’s Second Term
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February 14, 2025Please Stop Ripping My Bodices
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February 14, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: The Joy of Persona
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February 14, 2025Valentine’s Day Card Inscriptions Inspired by Submarine Disasters