Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
McSWEENEY'S QUARTERLY CONCERN
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Articles by
Andy Newton
Andy Newton is a writer living in Astoria, Queens.
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June 12, 2018Other Notable “Deals” Throughout History
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May 31, 2018List: The One Where Everything’s 2018
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February 5, 2018A Day In the Life of Carter Page
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December 21, 2016
A Note on the Future of Santa’s Workshop -
November 11, 2016List: Comforters to Wrap Yourself In While Weeping Over the Fate of American Democracy
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July 5, 2019The Battle At John F. Kennedy International Airport, 1776
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May 20, 2019I Don’t Think a Woman Is Electable In 2020 Because Last Time Around the Female Nominee Only Got Three Million More Votes Than Her Opponent
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July 2, 2019Before You Call Out Our Hypocrisy, Let Us Remind You That We Don’t Care
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March 19, 2014Kafka’s Joke Book
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July 15, 2019A Preschooler’s Guide to Managing Your Personal Assistant
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July 15, 2019List: A Nervous Breakdown as Captured In a Series of Author Biographies
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July 15, 2019It’s Time for Us Republicans to Reject Trump’s Blatant Bigotry and Return to Good Old Fashioned Dog-Whistle Race-Baiting
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July 12, 2019The Things They Carried to the Jersey Shore