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Articles by
Curtis Edmonds
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June 6, 2016Key Ring Chronicles: Cotter Pin
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May 20, 2015I’m Not Going to Teleport to Stop & Shop Just Because You Are Out of Contact Lens Solution
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October 16, 2013Position Announcement, Staff Auditor (Internal), Open To All Applicants, But Especially Sheila in Risk Management
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February 27, 2013Banned Performance Enhancing Substances in Literary Competitions
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June 8, 2012Frequently Asked Questions About Filing for Temporal Bankruptcy
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December 5, 2011I’m Sorry That My Robot Car Ran Over Your Robot Cat
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March 31, 2011Llanwyn the Unforgiving Seeks Vengeance at a Strip Mall Starbucks
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November 15, 2010You Built This City On What?
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June 8, 2010I Don’t Know, Honey, Where Do You Want To Eat?
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July 29, 200936 Hours on Tralfamadore
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March 25, 2009Cover Stories From the Most-Requested Back Issues of The American Prognosticator (1853—1987)
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November 19, 2008The Cervine Patient Begins His Analysis
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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February 16, 2021As a Superhero Teacher, I Can’t Wait to Sacrifice My Unvaccinated Life for Your Child
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February 22, 2021The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
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February 10, 2021An Update from Your Three-Year-Old’s Montessori Educator, Translated for Parents Who Endured a Traditional Public School Education
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit
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February 25, 2021Famous Philosophers in Quarantine
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February 25, 2021A Grizzled, Months-Old Chrome Tab Welcomes a Fresh-Faced New Tab to My Browser Window
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February 24, 2021I Oppose the Democrats’ Plan to Lower Child Poverty. If Kids Want to Eat, They Should Work In Filthy Factories Like They Did in the Good Old Days