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Articles by
Dan Caprera
Dan Caprera is a Chicago-based comedian who has written for The New York Times, The New Yorker, Vulture, Slackjaw, Mic, Weekly Humorist, Funny or Die, and The New York Times Crossword puzzle. In addition, his work has been featured by The Daily Mail, Lonely Planet, The A.V. Club, Uproxx, The Chive, Golf Digest, ShortList, and BroBible. He has a website.
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April 10, 20204 Bible Verses That Describe The Kick-Ass Birthday Party the Apostles Were Planning For Jesus Before They Learned He Was Going to Die For Our Sins
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March 26, 2020“The Roads Not Taken”: A Robert Frost Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Poem
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February 28, 2020Mike Bloomberg Can Win This Election!
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February 17, 2020The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself… and Goblins
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February 12, 2020Other Uses For Your Andrew Yang Beer Koozie, Now That Andrew Yang Has Suspended His Campaign
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February 11, 2020Famous Quotes That Have Clearly Been Misattributed to Winston Churchill
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January 24, 2020Bumper Stickers For Tesla Owners
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January 2, 2020Things I Should Talk to My Therapist About Vs. Things I Do Talk to My Therapist About
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October 16, 2019Confusing Things For a DJ to Say
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September 30, 2019Famous Philosophers’ Pick-Up Lines
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September 24, 2019The White Claws of Wrath
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August 19, 2019No Son of Mine Is Going to Be a Benthamite Utilitarian. This Is a John Stuart Mill Family, Dammit!
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January 24, 2023Macroeconomic Changes Have Made It Impossible for Me to Want to Pay You
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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January 10, 2023Fifteen Long-Overdue Slang Terms for Female Masturbation
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October 30, 2009Letters From the Hellbox: Caslon, Baskerville, and Franklin: Revolutionary Types
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February 3, 2023Our New AP African-American Studies Course Will Cover Black History from January 1996 to December 1996
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February 3, 2023FAQ: Is My Child Eating Enough Pirate’s Booty?
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February 2, 2023Two People Who Don’t Have Cable TV Talk About How They Don’t Have Cable TV, and How Great That Makes Them
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February 2, 2023Elden Ring or Tenure-Track Professor?