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Articles by
Dan Caprera
Dan Caprera is a Chicago-based comedian who has written for The New York Times, The New Yorker, Vulture, Slackjaw, Mic, Weekly Humorist, Funny or Die, and The New York Times Crossword puzzle. In addition, his work has been featured by The Daily Mail, Lonely Planet, The A.V. Club, Uproxx, The Chive, Golf Digest, ShortList, and BroBible. He has a website.
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April 10, 20204 Bible Verses That Describe The Kick-Ass Birthday Party the Apostles Were Planning For Jesus Before They Learned He Was Going to Die For Our Sins
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March 26, 2020“The Roads Not Taken”: A Robert Frost Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Poem
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February 28, 2020Mike Bloomberg Can Win This Election!
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February 17, 2020The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself… and Goblins
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February 12, 2020Other Uses For Your Andrew Yang Beer Koozie, Now That Andrew Yang Has Suspended His Campaign
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February 11, 2020Famous Quotes That Have Clearly Been Misattributed to Winston Churchill
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January 24, 2020Bumper Stickers For Tesla Owners
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January 2, 2020Things I Should Talk to My Therapist About Vs. Things I Do Talk to My Therapist About
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October 16, 2019Confusing Things For a DJ to Say
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September 30, 2019Famous Philosophers’ Pick-Up Lines
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September 24, 2019The White Claws of Wrath
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August 19, 2019No Son of Mine Is Going to Be a Benthamite Utilitarian. This Is a John Stuart Mill Family, Dammit!
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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January 20, 2021
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1-1,056 -
January 20, 2021A Conservative’s Guide to Preparing for a Biden Presidency
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January 22, 2021Llama Llama Remote-Learning Drama
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January 22, 2021Eight Famous Poems Rewritten by Your Asshole Cat
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January 22, 2021Now That I Am Old Enough to Enroll in Medicare, I Am Against Socialized Medicine
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January 21, 2021I Am a Disappointed Biden Voter Who Was Told He’d Immediately Implement Communist Rule