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Articles by
Dan Caprera
Dan Caprera is a Chicago-based comedian who has written for The New York Times, The New Yorker, Vulture, Slackjaw, Mic, Weekly Humorist, Funny or Die, and The New York Times Crossword puzzle. In addition, his work has been featured by The Daily Mail, Lonely Planet, The A.V. Club, Uproxx, The Chive, Golf Digest, ShortList, and BroBible. He has a website.
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April 10, 20204 Bible Verses That Describe The Kick-Ass Birthday Party the Apostles Were Planning For Jesus Before They Learned He Was Going to Die For Our Sins
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March 26, 2020“The Roads Not Taken”: A Robert Frost Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Poem
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February 28, 2020Mike Bloomberg Can Win This Election!
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February 17, 2020The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself… and Goblins
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February 12, 2020Other Uses For Your Andrew Yang Beer Koozie, Now That Andrew Yang Has Suspended His Campaign
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February 11, 2020Famous Quotes That Have Clearly Been Misattributed to Winston Churchill
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January 24, 2020Bumper Stickers For Tesla Owners
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January 2, 2020Things I Should Talk to My Therapist About Vs. Things I Do Talk to My Therapist About
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October 16, 2019Confusing Things For a DJ to Say
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September 30, 2019Famous Philosophers’ Pick-Up Lines
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September 24, 2019The White Claws of Wrath
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August 19, 2019No Son of Mine Is Going to Be a Benthamite Utilitarian. This Is a John Stuart Mill Family, Dammit!
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September 22, 2022It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 20, 2022Should I Bring Anything to the Dinner Tonight or Just My Crippling Anxiety?
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September 15, 2022We Are a Picturesque Small Town and We Refuse to Be the Setting for Your Romantic Comedy
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September 21, 2022An Open Letter to Bluey’s Parents: Please Stop
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September 29, 2022Template for White People Outraged Over Lizzo Playing James Madison’s Flute
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September 29, 2022I’m Not Like Other Fascists
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September 28, 2022It Isn’t Misinformation If It’s Phrased as a Series of Completely Unhinged Rhetorical Questions
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September 28, 2022Let Guided by Voices Title Your Masters Thesis