ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Dan Caprera
Dan Caprera is a Brooklyn-based comedian who has written for the New York Times, the New Yorker, Vulture, Slackjaw, Mic, Weekly Humorist, Funny or Die, and The New York Times Crossword puzzle. In addition, his work has been featured by The Daily Mail, Lonely Planet, The A.V. Club, Uproxx, The Chive, Golf Digest, ShortList, and BroBible. He has a website.
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August 28, 2024They Say “Write What You Know,” Which Is Why I Only Write about Failed Relationships with Women Who Look Like My Mother
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July 25, 2024So, What Are the Logistics Behind the Apocalypse Orgy?
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April 10, 2020Four Bible Verses That Describe the Kick-Ass Birthday Party the Apostles Were Planning for Jesus Before They Learned He Was Going to Die for Our Sins
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March 26, 2020“The Roads Not Taken”: A Robert Frost Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Poem
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February 28, 2020Mike Bloomberg Can Win This Election!
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February 17, 2020The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself… and Goblins
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February 12, 2020Other Uses For Your Andrew Yang Beer Koozie, Now That Andrew Yang Has Suspended His Campaign
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February 11, 2020Famous Quotes That Have Clearly Been Misattributed to Winston Churchill
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January 24, 2020Bumper Stickers For Tesla Owners
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January 2, 2020Things I Should Talk to My Therapist About Vs. Things I Do Talk to My Therapist About
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October 16, 2019Confusing Things For a DJ to Say
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September 30, 2019Famous Philosophers’ Pick-Up Lines
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August 15, 2024If Tim Walz Is America’s Dad, These Are America’s Other Family Members
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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August 23, 2024We Have Updated Our Children’s Menu Options to Better Reflect What We See Your Children Doing in Our Restaurant
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August 30, 2024New School Year Drop-Off and Pick-Up Rules
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September 9, 2024A Math Exam, but Obviously Some Stuff Has Happened over the Summer in the Teacher’s Personal Life
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September 9, 2024Sorry Not Sorry: BTS, Ronda Rousey, and the Timing of Apologies
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September 9, 2024Things People Have Yelled Down to Me, a Person Trapped Alone at the Bottom of a Well
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September 6, 2024As a Feminist, I Believe a Woman Can Be Miserable Whether She Is Childless or Not