McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Dan Carroll
Dan Carroll is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. The fact that he’s able to maintain a living in this discipline is a complete anomaly to him, his family, and most around him. Nothing makes sense. This simply cannot be.
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January 19, 2023Oh God, Someone Gave Me Whiskey Stones
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November 8, 2018Turns Out the Blue Wave Was Actually the Ocean Rising to Kill Us
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October 11, 2018The Coaching Candidates for Every Youth Soccer Team In America
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March 7, 2018Welcome to Newscycle: The World’s Most Exhausting Cycling Workout
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June 24, 2015The Results of Doc’s Medical Examination On the Other Six Dwarfs
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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January 1, 2025Class Is Canceled Until Further Notice While I Do My Job
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January 3, 2025Local Alternatives to “California Sober”
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 14, 2025Who Better to Address Sexual Assault in the Military Than a Man Who Has Been Accused of Sexual Assault?
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January 14, 2025One Upside of the Total Collapse of Civilization Is We Don’t Have to Be Woke Anymore