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Articles by
Johnathan Appel
Johnathan Appel is a comedian and writer based in New York City. He’s often confused with the “Jonathan Apple,” which is a fruit based in Woodstock, New York.
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April 25, 2025I Am the Servant in the Beast’s Castle Who Was Turned into a Chamberpot, and Nobody Ever Asks Me to Sing
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May 24, 2024I Am the Only Person on the Fury Road Who Still Drives a Sensible Car
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November 7, 2023A Concession Speech by a Candidate Who Just Lost to a Dog Mayor
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January 12, 2022Insurance Providers Are Now Required to Cover the Costs of At-Home COVID Tests for Any American Clever Enough to Navigate the Labyrinth of Terrors
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December 20, 2019Holiday Letters from Legends of Greek Mythology
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November 7, 2019The Myth of Super Mario by Albert Camus
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August 13, 2019In the Face of Evil, We Republicans Must Be Brave, Bold, and Completely Neutral
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July 17, 2019AP Style Guidelines for Viral Tweets
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April 10, 2019To Stop Trump in 2020, Democrats Have to Stop Infighting and Unite Behind Crabby, the Giant Man-Eating Crab
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March 21, 2019Job Hunt: The Board Game
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March 12, 2019Revolutionary Quotes From Centrist History
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February 13, 2019Our Magazine Is Dedicated to Covering Race, Sexuality, and Gender Inequality By Profiling Anyone Who Is Unaffected By Those Issues
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June 3, 2025New York Times’ Style Guide Substitutions for “The President Violated the Constitution”
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June 6, 2025I, Saruman, Have Ended My Alliance with the Dark Lord Sauron
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February 10, 2015What a Straight Man’s Favorite Musical Says About Him
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June 9, 2025It’s Not Going Great, but Imagine How Much Worse Things Would Be with a Woman President