The Believer has returned
Articles by
Johnathan Appel
Johnathan Appel is a comedian and writer based in New York City. He’s often confused with the “Jonathan Apple,” which is a fruit based in Woodstock, New York.
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November 7, 2023A Concession Speech by a Candidate Who Just Lost to a Dog Mayor
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January 12, 2022Insurance Providers Are Now Required to Cover the Costs of At-Home COVID Tests for Any American Clever Enough to Navigate the Labyrinth of Terrors
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December 20, 2019Holiday Letters from Legends of Greek Mythology
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November 7, 2019The Myth of Super Mario by Albert Camus
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August 13, 2019In the Face of Evil, We Republicans Must Be Brave, Bold, and Completely Neutral
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July 17, 2019AP Style Guidelines for Viral Tweets
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April 10, 2019To Stop Trump in 2020, Democrats Have to Stop Infighting and Unite Behind Crabby, the Giant Man-Eating Crab
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March 21, 2019Job Hunt: The Board Game
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March 12, 2019Revolutionary Quotes From Centrist History
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February 13, 2019Our Magazine Is Dedicated to Covering Race, Sexuality, and Gender Inequality By Profiling Anyone Who Is Unaffected By Those Issues
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September 5, 2018In Defense of Our College’s Mascot, Sir Racist Von Genocide
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July 13, 2018I’m Friday the 13th’s Jason Voorhees. I’ve Been Reading Feminist Theory and Won’t Be Killing Any Over-Sexualized Teenagers This Summer
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November 29, 2023Your 2023 WebMD Wrapped
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November 22, 2023Post-Dinner Interview with a Twelve-Year-Old Who Sat at the Grown-Ups’ Table for the First Time on Thanksgiving
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December 4, 2023The National Lyrics or Things My Dad Says While Refusing to Check Google Maps?
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February 23, 2012Lines from The Princess Bride That Double as Comments on Freshman Composition Papers
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December 7, 2023Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One With the Lady Moderators
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December 7, 2023Scenes from a Hallmark Hanukkah Movie Written by Someone Who Has Definitely Met a Jew
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December 6, 2023Answering Questions at the Climate Summit After My Speech in Support of Oil World
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December 6, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Anne Carson