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Articles by
Johnathan Appel
Johnathan Appel is a comedian and writer based in New York City. He’s often confused with the “Jonathan Apple,” which is a fruit based in Woodstock, New York.
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May 24, 2024I Am the Only Person on the Fury Road Who Still Drives a Sensible Car
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November 7, 2023A Concession Speech by a Candidate Who Just Lost to a Dog Mayor
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January 12, 2022Insurance Providers Are Now Required to Cover the Costs of At-Home COVID Tests for Any American Clever Enough to Navigate the Labyrinth of Terrors
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December 20, 2019Holiday Letters from Legends of Greek Mythology
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November 7, 2019The Myth of Super Mario by Albert Camus
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August 13, 2019In the Face of Evil, We Republicans Must Be Brave, Bold, and Completely Neutral
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July 17, 2019AP Style Guidelines for Viral Tweets
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April 10, 2019To Stop Trump in 2020, Democrats Have to Stop Infighting and Unite Behind Crabby, the Giant Man-Eating Crab
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March 21, 2019Job Hunt: The Board Game
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March 12, 2019Revolutionary Quotes From Centrist History
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February 13, 2019Our Magazine Is Dedicated to Covering Race, Sexuality, and Gender Inequality By Profiling Anyone Who Is Unaffected By Those Issues
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September 5, 2018In Defense of Our College’s Mascot, Sir Racist Von Genocide
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March 31, 2025I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas
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April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
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April 1, 2025I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now?
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April 4, 2025The White House or The White Lotus?