Articles by
Jory John
Jory John is a New York Times bestselling author of books for both children and adults. He is a two-time E.B. White Read-Aloud Honor recipient. Jory’s books include All my friends are dead, Penguin Problems and Goodnight Already!, among many others. He can be found at joryjohn.com, or on Instagram @animalsgotproblems
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April 16, 2018They Told Me My “Hive Mind” Posts on Facebook Could Be Solved With a Little Googling, But I Prefer to Stick to My “Hive Mind” Posts on Facebook, Thank You Very Much
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March 19, 2018What is Blip and Why is Everybody Talking About It?
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December 22, 2016I’m an Excellent Conversationalist on Airplanes
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November 22, 2016
I Wonder if Everybody at This Thanksgiving Dinner Party Knows I’m Vegan -
September 9, 2016Monologue: Son, Don’t Make Any Weird Faces During This Sporting Event or You’ll Probably Become an Internet Meme
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April 29, 2016Monologue: Vanna White at Three in the Morning
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November 12, 2015Maybe I Should Stop Bringing Up My Cat So Much When People Tell Me Stories About Their Kids
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October 23, 2015In Retrospect, Maybe I Shouldn’t Have Been So Quick to Move Out of Mark Zuckerberg’s Harvard Dorm Room
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September 24, 2015Sometimes I Have Conflicting Emotions About Having Invented the Internet
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July 24, 2015I’m an Expert Haggler at Garage Sales
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July 21, 2014I’m Thinking About Launching My Podcast Pretty Soon
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November 15, 2013Sting Gets Stung
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April 4, 2018Fifty-Six Questions for Young MC Upon Hearing “Bust a Move” for the First Time in Twenty-Two Years
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April 10, 2018List: Horoscopes for Librarians
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March 19, 2018I’m Going to Close This Deal Using Business Words I’ve Heard Men Yell in Airports
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April 6, 2018We Deeply Regret Hiring the Perpetrators of the Salem Witch Trials as Opinion Columnists
Recently
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April 19, 2018A Poem About Your University’s Absolute and Unwavering Appreciation of Its Faculty in Spite of Said Faculty’s Crap Salaries
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April 19, 2018List: Things I, an Affluent White Cis Male, Have Gotten Away With In a Starbucks
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April 19, 2018The Diary of a Settler of Catan
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April 18, 2018The First Female President