ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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March 28, 2024Decreasingly Impressive Reasons for Someone to Throw Out a Ceremonial First Pitch
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July 21, 2023“Barbie Girl” by Ernest Hemingway
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March 29, 2023March Madness Odds on Being Featured in the “One Shining Moment” Montage
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June 14, 2022Increasingly Difficult Situations to Catch a Foul Ball in the Stands
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May 4, 2022A Fundraising Email from the Galactic Senate Majority Leader
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April 22, 2022Signs You Work in the “Cool” Lab
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April 9, 2021The Five Stages of Grief When Dealing With No Longer Being Able to See the “Scoop, There It Is” Geico Commercial
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March 27, 2024Class Is Canceled Until Further Notice While I Do My Job
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
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April 3, 2024Emails from My Dentist That Would Actually Make Me Schedule an Appointment
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March 2, 2022Selected Negative Teaching Evaluations of Jesus Christ